Licensed books on medicine
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What should I do with myself so that in the foreground I have a husband, not children?
Now I love them so much that before thinking about my husband, I think about them.
You demand the impossible from yourself. There is a conflict inside you between the role of the spouse and the role of the mother. Maybe you lost sight of the fact that you are primarily a woman?
As for your relationship with your spouse, they are hampered by the fact that in the foreground you always have children, not him. There should be no rivalry between feelings for children and feelings for a husband, since they are completely different in nature.
Let's first analyze your views and beliefs. In your opinion, should a good mother first take care of the children, not the spouse? If you really think so, then in life you are waiting for anxiety and frustration.
Your children can grow up selfish and sit on your head. The main thing for you is your own life. You are not a slave or servant of your children. You must use relationships with children and with your husband for your own spiritual growth.
Choose a moment when you stay at home alone, and try to understand your inner feelings. If all the circumstances were perfect and if you did not risk offending someone, then which side would you bow to? I am sure that in one case you would have a spouse in the first place, and children in the other.
The main thing is that you allow yourself to be both spouse and mother at the same time and not feel any guilt behind you.
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What should I do with myself so that in the foreground I have a husband, not children?
- My husband and son wake up hard in the morning. I have to wake them up several times. It ends with the fact that I shout them out of bed so that her husband is not late for work, and the son is at school. What should I do so as not to feel responsible for being late?
Firstly, it is not your responsibility, and secondly, you need to place this responsibility on them, telling them that from now on they will be responsible for the consequences of their choices. Currently, they have made the choice to send in the morning, and you decide to be responsible for the consequences of their choice, fearing what might happen to them. When they themselves have to answer for the consequences of their choice,
- When I go out for a walk alone or with a friend, my husband always blames me or sulks me. Sometimes I still go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel ill at ease. If I go for a walk, I feel guilty. If I do not go out for a walk, then I feel unhappy. I know that I give in to guilt, but I can’t do anything with myself. What do i do?
It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, who says that a good wife should not go out without her husband. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part - stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to come to an agreement and
- As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
- I have great difficulty with the concept of responsibility. I was beaten, and I experienced all sorts of hardships. I think I was not always to blame.
What do you say to that? From your question it follows that you consider yourself guilty. You say to yourself: “I didn’t do anything wrong; why did it happen to me then? ”Very often people confuse guilt and responsibility. Your responsibility for what happened to you lies in your ability to state that the life you have lived was not easy, and, most importantly, in understanding that everything
- It seems to me that the husband condemns me whenever it comes to my attending lectures at the Listen Your Body Center.
Next to him, I feel as if I am not able to reason sensibly. He often calls me naive. What should I do? Your spouse only expresses what you yourself think about in your heart. Did the thought come to you that you are not sensible enough? Do you think that naivety is a manifestation of character weakness? Do you sometimes reproach yourself that you are too naive?
- I think that having children is a big responsibility. It can even be called a lifetime contract. When I think I can cause them suffering, I feel bad. What do I need to do to think differently?
Change your beliefs. First, when you make a decision to have a child, you should not think that you are responsible for his happiness. Your first motivation should be to give your soul a chance to return in order to incarnate. It is a gift of self. Then, to continue growth, you must learn to love this soul that has chosen you. To have a child is
- For a short time I had a lover, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?
The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, relying on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either to make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or to change your
- I found out that my wife had an affair with another man.
I forgave her for this. How to preserve our relationship and will I be able to love her as before, knowing that another man possessed her? You think you have forgiven her love adventure, but in your heart you have not yet forgiven her. You have forgiven the mind. I feel that you sincerely want to forgive her, but finally you have not yet forgiven her, otherwise you would not have asked this question and you would not have been tormented by the thought that there was
- My husband was a heartbreaker, and I left him. But why are I still so attracted to smoothies?
To understand, you must first understand what annoys you in the behavior of smoothies. If you are constantly attracted to such men, and they, too, are drawn to you, then this means that you have some traits of their character. What you don’t like with smoothies reflects the side of your character that you don’t want to notice. What does the word “heartthrob” mean to you? This is a man who seduces
- I would like to know what I can learn from my mother. It makes me experience emotions - in the sense that it always contradicts me. She is negatively disposed and always says that I will not succeed in starting a business.
Judging by your question, I see that you blame your mother for your own emotions. Once again I emphasize that a person cannot be held responsible for anyone’s emotions. Only you are responsible for your emotions, that is, for your reaction to the words or deeds of your mother. You may not agree with what she says to you, but it is important that you feel that she is acting like her
- I am almost sure that my husband is cheating on me.
Not once did I find various things in the bedroom that do not belong to me, I accidentally heard suspicious phone calls. They even pass on to me statements or facts confirming my suspicions. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I intend to tell my husband that I know everything. But still, it seems to me that first I must catch him in a lie, and then blame him. Naturally, he will be to me again
- I find it hard to accept the idea that we choose our parents. I read about this in your first book, and I must confess to you that I still cannot understand this. I am a foster child, and I always want to see my real mother. Why did I choose a mother who decided to leave me?
To learn to love despite being abandoned. Since we always reap what we sow, an abandoned child is usually the soul that somehow abandoned its child in its previous life. Apparently, this is your case. Having forgiven your biological mother for abandoning you, you automatically forgive yourself. To do this, you need an open heart, a lot
- My husband blames me for living in the past.
And I think that I reveal myself, my self-consciousness. He himself never shows what is in his soul. When he reproaches me, I suffer from emotions, but I cannot explain what is happening to me. I came to the conclusion that it is better not to open up to him. Does this mean that I have little respect for myself or not self-confidence? Your spouse obviously mixes two concepts: build on past experience and
- Now I have a second husband. He is a bit closed, as he is afraid that he will not take root in the new family.
New Roman "> I’m very frank with him and would like the same frankness from him. My ex-husband was a very jealous man with excessive possessive instinct. He wanted me to always be with him. Because of this, I’m from him and She left. My second spouse is not at all. He is very independent, and it’s not easy for me. I hesitate: I don’t know which of them I like better. First husband
- I really want to keep my current family, but I suddenly realized that the spouse always decides everything for me and for the children.
He is always right in everything, and I constantly suffer because I cannot achieve self-assertion. What character trait do I not accept? If the spouse always decides everything for you and does not reckon with your opinion, then this means that you do not want to accept your feminine principle. The same thing happens with your spouse. If he is convinced that his wife needs to be led, then this indicates that
- When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I have a feeling that I am an indifferent mother who doesn't give a damn about her children. I'm afraid they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who doesn’t care anything, who doesn’t feel anything and is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? To teach your children to take responsibility - this is the best gift you can give them.
- My spouse goes to work. She never liked doing household chores, I know that and I always knew it. I also go to work. Since we got married, the maintenance of order in the house constantly rests on me. It starts to bother me. We both go to work, and how can I tell her that she has the same responsibility for maintaining cleanliness in the house as I do?
Have you made a clear commitment before making a decision about living together? Maybe you are committed to doing household chores, telling her, for example: “No problem. Will I do this? And now you are responsible for the consequences of your decision. However, if at the present time it has become too difficult for you, you must tell your spouse about it. Ask her