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How can I make my spouse understand that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without injuring his pride?


The first thing that strikes you in your question: you want your spouse to understand something.
You no doubt have the false idea that “to understand is to love.” You believe that if you manage to cautiously let him know that you are suffocating, he will love you more. You are deeply mistaken. And little here depends on what tactics you choose.
You have nothing to convince the spouse. You will achieve more by sharing your own experiences with him, without condemning him. If you begin to reproach him for being too powerful, you will surely hurt him. He will become aggressive or withdrawn. When a person is attacked, he immediately closes. This reflex works automatically.
You say you are choking on his possessive feelings for you. No one in the world has the right to oppress others. On the other hand, there are people who allow themselves to be oppressed.
Take courage and talk to him.
Tell him everything in your heart: that you feel yourself being oppressed, that you don’t even dare to object to him, that you are afraid to make your life more difficult and create more problems. I am sure you will be able to draw a parallel between your current state and the fear that you had before your father. Your feeling of depression is just your personal impression. If you valued your own freedom, then no one in the world could have attacked it.
Ask your spouse if he does not consider it “accidentally” and he is a power-hungry person. Usually the spouses have a lot in common. Only one manifests the features of his character openly, while the other hides them deep in his soul. Do you have any possessive feelings towards your spouse, desire to command them and at the same time fear losing him? It is possible that this trait of your character manifests itself in some other way or in something else. It is necessary to find out everything.
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How can I make my spouse understand that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without injuring his pride?

  1. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend to feel at ease at our meetings during holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we are all together, I feel embarrassed.
    Did you ask your ex-spouse and your children whether your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel awkward, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you pledged to make sure that they always feel
  2. My spouse goes to work. She never liked doing household chores, I know that and I always knew it. I also go to work. Since we got married, the maintenance of order in the house constantly rests on me. It starts to bother me. We both go to work, and how can I tell her that she has the same responsibility for maintaining cleanliness in the house as I do?
    Have you made a clear commitment before making a decision about living together? Maybe you are committed to doing household chores, telling her, for example: “No problem. Will I do this? And now you are responsible for the consequences of your decision. However, if at the present time it has become too difficult for you, you must tell your spouse about it. Ask her
  3. For a short time I had a lover, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, relying on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either to make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or to change your
  4. I think that having children is a big responsibility. It can even be called a lifetime contract. When I think I can cause them suffering, I feel bad. What do I need to do to think differently?
    Change your beliefs. First, when you make a decision to have a child, you should not think that you are responsible for his happiness. Your first motivation should be to give your soul a chance to return in order to incarnate. It is a gift of self. Then, to continue growth, you must learn to love this soul that has chosen you. To have a child is
  5. How can I get rid of the feeling of responsibility for a person dear to me who suffers in his soul? How do I get rid of deep sadness?
    If the sight of a suffering dear person fills you with sadness, then this is because this situation awakens something in you that has long lain under a bushel and what you have tried to avoid. It would be important for you to conduct an internal research to better determine the nature of this sadness. What makes you so sad? It is not by chance that we choose certain people who
  6. When I openly tell my husband how I relate to some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly replies that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is what he is and cannot change.
    He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my own well-being. How should I be in this situation? Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone except himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Each person can change for the better if
  7. Should I confess to my spouse, with whom I have been living for twenty-four years, that I no longer love him, but treat him like a brother?
    I think that he also knows about it. Wouldn't it be better for me to leave him so that each of us could cultivate on our own? You are not mistaken in thinking that the husband is aware of what is happening to you, although perhaps he is not fully aware of this. I see that your relationship suffers largely from inability to communicate. I even think that you should share as soon as possible.
  8. As soon as I want to talk to my spouse, he starts screaming. What should I do?
    I am afraid to be wrong and I do not know how to start a conversation so that from the very beginning he would not take an unpleasant turn. If someone is constantly on his guard, this is a sure sign that he feels that he is being accused of something. Check to see if you are hoping in your heart that you will manage to make your husband understand something in order to prove to him that you are right. What is the purpose of your conversation with him? Maybe,
  9. Earlier you said that you can breastfeed, even in cases where you have completely stopped such feeding. How to do it?
    Even if you stopped breastfeeding several months ago, you will probably be able to squeeze a drop of fluid from your chest. Your milk production system has not completely stopped. Resuming breastfeeding after you stop it is called relaxation. Women who have never given birth have fed foster babies, and this is called induced or induced
  10. How to do so not to feel guilty for the fact that sometimes I leave the spouse alone at home with the children, while I go to my girlfriend, to the store or just walk, breathe fresh air and think about myself?
    Guilt feelings are a major obstacle to human evolution. Since it arises from our beliefs, that is, on the mental level, the only way to avoid the feeling of guilt is to change your beliefs. You can read about the beliefs in the book, but first of all you must internally make sure: are you really to blame? Only intentionally causing evil to anyone can serve
  11. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, whereas my parents were never happy together.
    I feel obliged to help my mother by giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is observed very often. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  12. Because of the unfortunate love, I developed a psychosomatic illness, namely urinary incontinence. How do I understand my responsibility for this and how to get rid of this disease?
    Begin by agreeing that this physical illness is sent to help you understand that your reaction to unsuccessful love is not good for you. The responsible person is the one who admits and acknowledges that his physical problem is caused by his way of being, by what he internally experiences. Urinary incontinence is usually caused by loss of control on the physical and emotional
  13. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  14. How can you argue that everything that happens to us is caused by an internal cause? I stopped at a red light, and at that time another car hit me from behind. How can I be the cause of this?
    At the present time, due to our great unconsciousness, it is very difficult to know precisely the internal cause of each accident (or effect) in our external world. Take the example of your accident. Even if your awareness is not enough to remember what you thought at the time of the accident, or to understand the cause of the accident. I suggest you start your own investigation, starting from
  15. When I go out for a walk alone or with a friend, my husband always blames me or sulks me. Sometimes I still go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel ill at ease. If I go for a walk, I feel guilty. If I do not go out for a walk, then I feel unhappy. I know that I give in to guilt, but I can’t do anything with myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, who says that a good wife should not go out without her husband. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part - stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to come to an agreement and
  16. How do I deal with a spouse who is not very interested in raising children?
    If your spouse’s unwillingness to be engaged in raising children is too distressing, then this indicates that you are placing increased demands on him. You need to remember what your requirements were for him before the birth of children. Have you talked to him about this? Did he promise to bring them up? The position of the father of the family does not mean that he must be engaged in bringing up
  17. How to make other people stop telling me about their problems?
    Obviously, first of all, you should find out why you do not want to hear about other people's problems. Maybe because you are experiencing their problems? Maybe because you would like to find their solution? Or do you dislike that you are not able to offer a solution? After a similar introspection, you can explain to them why you prefer not to listen to them anymore. Sure, some part suffers
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