home
about the project
Medical news
For authors
Licensed books on medicine
<< Previous Next >>

How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?


The consequences of his decisions seem heavy to him, and he would like to blame me for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him concern. Example: a divorce initiated by him.
From your question, I conclude that this gentleman decided on a divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It is difficult for him to take responsibility, that is, to be responsible for the consequences of his decision. He is trying to shift the responsibility on you for this, to make you feel guilty. No one in the world can inspire us with guilt for anything. It is only by virtue of how we perceive the words of another person that we can feel or not feel guilty.
Feeling guilty while you are not guilty indicates that you misinterpret the concept of responsibility. Your responsibility is at the level of your reaction to this divorce and to your spouse’s decision. He does not want to take responsibility, since it is too difficult for him to survive.
Perhaps this greatly offends his pride. Realize that if you lose faith in yourself and if you feel guilty, then this has nothing to do with it. You must understand this very clearly. Your guilt is generated by your lower thinking, your vision and interpretation of things. Perhaps at heart you feel guilty for this divorce, and your husband’s true role is to help you realize that you are unjustly blaming yourself?
Show sympathy for this person who does not want to take responsibility. But at the same time, be firm and tell him that his unwillingness to take responsibility for the consequences of his choice upsets you. Yes, he is suffering, but that is his suffering. There can be no question of you taking responsibility for the consequences of his decision. You should only take responsibility for the consequences of your reaction to this divorce.
<< Previous Next >>
= Skip to textbook content =

How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?

  1. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
  2. When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, then I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
  3. At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.
    You say that we reap what we sow. Why is this happening to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time this has happened to me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what makes me want so much to make a commitment? Maybe you are this
  4. How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness in order to evoke self-love? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.
    The previous answer extends to this question. Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that this can harm another? A person who decides to help someone without thinking about what he can do is only think about himself. He needs someone’s positive result to feel his own worth. Therefore he
  5. How do I behave with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy, which reach a panic state?
    I’m afraid that such a state of mind can seriously affect me. This situation affects you because it annoys you and because you refuse to understand the condition of your spouse. A person becomes depressed when he has low self-esteem. You have undoubtedly noticed that at times of crisis a spouse complains of pain in the heart. The heart contracts and the body
  6. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend feel at ease at our meetings during the holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we find ourselves all together, I feel awkward.
    Have you asked your ex-spouse and your children if your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel uncomfortable, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you made a commitment to ensure that they always feel
  7. How can I free myself from responsibility for my dear person who suffers in my soul? How can I get rid of deep sadness?
    If the sight of a suffering, dear person fills you with sorrow, then this is because this situation awakens something in you that has been hidden for a long time and which you tried to avoid. It would be important for you to conduct an internal study to better determine the nature of this sadness. What makes you so sad? It’s no coincidence that we choose certain people who
  8. For more than a year now, my mother has been lying in a psychiatric institute waiting for placement in a medical institution. Since I am the only person through whom she communicates with the outside world, I feel obligated to take care of her. Apart from the trust that she gives me, what gift can I get from this situation? Our relations have never been close, practically they simply do not exist.
    As for the gift, a hint about it is contained in your question. This is an ideal case to get close to your mother. However, how do you experience a sense of obligation towards her? Do you care for her from a pure heart? Would you feel guilty if you didn’t? No child owes his parents and vice versa. However, bonds between parents and children provide
  9. When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I get the feeling that I am an indifferent mother who does not give a damn about her children. I am afraid that they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
    First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who does not care about anything, who does not feel anything and who is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? Teaching your children to take responsibility is the best gift you can give them.
  10. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you should be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, to help them learn, to transfer their knowledge to them, to give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  11. How to help a person who is going to get a divorce not feel guilty? This is a man who has been married for fifteen years and has two children of eight and fifteen years old.
    First of all, did this person turn to you for help? This is the most important point that should be checked for any form of assistance relationship. You must also understand that only he himself can truly help himself. His guilt comes from his mental perception. He must choose whether he still wants to feel guilty or if he wants to
  12. How to explain to the person you previously needed that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?
    First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or whether you are afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may only really exist in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel strong enough to stand on your feet to manage
  13. It’s hard for me to accept the idea that we choose our parents. I read about this in your first book and I must admit to you that I still can’t understand this. I am an adopted child and I always want to see my real mother. Why did I choose a mother who decided to leave me?
    To learn to love despite being abandoned. Since we always reap what we sow, an abandoned child is usually a soul who somehow abandoned her child in her previous life. Apparently, this is your case. Forgiving your biological mother that she left you, you automatically forgive yourself. To do this, you need an open heart, a lot
  14. I have a friend, he is going to get a divorce and feels very guilty. How can I help him?
    First of all, find out if he wants help. If so, tell him about your new concept of guilt. Help him find out if he really is to blame, whether he is going to harm another, or if he simply expresses his limits in relation to the difficulties he is experiencing in a married life. Explain to him that violating your limits in order to please someone
  15. How a child learns to behave.
    As the child develops the nervous system, he appears to be prompted to abandon his former ways of satisfaction and move on to new ones as soon as they become available to him; this motivation is based on what we, using our way of expression, agreed to call the word "physis". Those around him also create conditions that force him to do everything that he
  16. Why does a person act and feel so, and not otherwise?
    People act and feel, not in accordance with actual facts, but in accordance with their ideas about these facts. Everyone has their own specific image of the world and the people around them, and a person behaves as if the truth is these images, and not the objects they represent. Some images of almost all normal individuals develop according to one pattern. Man represents
  17. Due to unsuccessful love, I developed a psychosomatic illness, namely urinary incontinence. How do I understand my responsibility for this and how to get rid of this disease?
    Start by agreeing that this physical illness is sent to help you understand that your reaction to unsuccessful love is not good for you. A responsible person is one who admits and acknowledges that his physical problem is caused by his way of being, by what he is experiencing internally. Incontinence is usually caused by loss of control on the physical and emotional.
  18. What do you specifically mean by the expression “commit yourself”?
    To make a commitment means to bind oneself to someone or with something through an oral or written promise. Many people consider themselves bound by a commitment, but it just seems to them. Here he is - a great source of often emerging emotions. Commitment is always at the level of “have” or “do”. That is, in material terms. Responsibility refers to the field of “being,” spiritual
Medical portal "MedguideBook" © 2014-2019
info@medicine-guidebook.com