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How do I behave with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy that reach a panic state?


I’m afraid that such a state of mind can seriously affect me.
This situation affects you because it annoys you and because you refuse to understand the condition of your spouse.
A person becomes depressed when he has low self-esteem. You have undoubtedly noticed that at times of crisis a spouse complains of pain in the heart. The heart contracts and the body gives a distress signal: “Help! I don’t have enough love, love me more! ”Your spouse must be too demanding on himself and, naturally, he doesn’t really like himself. You should talk to him openly about this.
I know a wonderful recipe for longing: advise your husband to give yourself at least ten compliments a day, and in writing. Instead of focusing all his attention on what he reproaches himself with, he will begin to praise himself for all the good that he has done, said or experienced in a day.
If he does this simple exercise every evening, he will gradually begin to appreciate himself more.
It must be hard to live with a melancholy person, especially if you find it difficult to put up with this situation. It would be best for you to learn to feel his pain and his lack of self-esteem. This does not mean that you should approach him and say: “Listen, you should respect yourself more”. It is more about understanding his true condition and at the same time not reading morality to him.
If you try to persuade him, you’ll just waste your time in vain. Understand one thing: he is not easy now, and he underestimates himself. Only in this way will it be easier for you to come to terms with the situation.
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How do I behave with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy that reach a panic state?

  1. How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?
    The consequences of his decisions seem difficult to him, and he would like to blame me for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him concern. Example: a divorce initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman decided on a divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It’s hard for him to take on
  2. What should I do with a spouse who is not very interested in raising children?
    If you are too upset by your spouse’s unwillingness to raise children, then this indicates that you have increased demands on him. You need to remember what were your requirements for him before the birth of the children. Did you talk to him about it? Did he promise to educate them? The position of the father of the family does not mean that he must be engaged in education
  3. When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
  4. How to explain to the person you previously needed that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?
    First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or whether you are afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may only really exist in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel strong enough to stand on your feet to manage
  5. How can I free myself from responsibility for my dear person who suffers in my soul? How can I get rid of deep sadness?
    If the sight of a suffering, dear person fills you with sorrow, then this is because this situation awakens something in you that has been hidden for a long time and which you tried to avoid. It would be important for you to conduct an internal study to better determine the nature of this sadness. What makes you so sad? It’s no coincidence that we choose certain people who
  6. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, while my parents have never been happy together.
    I feel obligated to help my mother, giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is very common. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  7. For more than a year now, my mother has been lying in a psychiatric institute, awaiting placement in a medical institution. Since I am the only person through whom she communicates with the outside world, I feel obligated to take care of her. Apart from the trust that she gives me, what gift can I get from this situation? Our relations have never been close, practically they simply do not exist.
    As for the gift, a hint about it is contained in your question. This is an ideal case to get close to your mother. However, how do you experience a sense of obligation towards her? Do you care for her from a pure heart? Would you feel guilty if you didn’t? No child owes his parents and vice versa. However, bonds between parents and children provide
  8. How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness in order to provoke self-love? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.
    The previous answer extends to this question. Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that this can harm another? A person who decides to help someone without thinking about what he can do is only think about himself. He needs someone’s positive result to feel his own worth. Therefore he
  9. How a child learns to behave.
    As the child develops the nervous system, he appears to be prompted to abandon his former ways of satisfaction and move on to new ones as soon as they become available to him; this motivation is based on what we, using our way of expression, agreed to call the word "physis". Those around him also create conditions that force him to do everything that he
  10. By type of work, I have to help others, and I often witness cases of domestic violence.
    I noticed that in many cases self-esteem is not enough for a woman. You say that humility is necessary in order to learn to love disinterestedly. Would you like to say that the wife must meekly bear the beating of her husband? As you say, the husband uses violence against his wife when she ceases to respect herself. I would add to this that in this case, not only
  11. How to respond to the actions of the spouse, which I condemn?
    For example, he filed a deliberately false income declaration in order to pay less tax. I must admit that I signed this declaration and now I can’t forgive myself for this. Only a calm conversation with your spouse will give the desired result. Together, it’s easier for you to understand what lies behind the false declaration. You will most likely find that behind this lies his fear of being without money or without
  12. How to make it clear to my spouse that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without hurting his pride?
    The first thing that catches your eye in your question: you want the spouse to understand something. You, no doubt, have a false idea that "to understand is to love." You believe that if you manage to carefully let him know that you are suffocating, he will love you more. You are deeply mistaken. And little here depends on what tactics you choose. You don't have to
  13. My wife goes to work. She never liked to do household chores, I know it and always knew it. I also go to work. Since we got married, maintaining order in the house constantly falls on me. It starts to bother me. We both go to work, and how can I explain to her that for the maintenance of cleanliness in the house she carries the same responsibility as I do?
    Did you make a clear commitment before deciding to live together? Maybe you made a commitment to do household chores by telling her, for example: “No problem. Will I do this? And now you are responsible for the consequences of your decision. However, if at present it has become too difficult for you, you must tell your spouse about it. Ask her
  14. How do I know if my friend loves me truly, sincerely, or does he only have a sex drive for me?
    You doubt not in vain. One half of your "I", of course, believes that all men seek primarily sexual relations, and as long as you think so, a similar situation will repeat itself, even if you change your friend. You are scared at the thought that you will be physically possessed, and this, of course, indicates that something is wrong with you. The more you think about
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