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How to explain to a person you previously needed, that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?


First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or that you are afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may actually exist only in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel yourself firmly on your feet to do it on your own. Ask him how he feels, if he is upset that you want to act independently. Call him to talk and listen carefully. Very often, carefully listening to another person, we find that the situation is different from what we had imagined.

Do not forget that if this man so eagerly sought to help you, it means that he loved you. Do not hurry, try to feel the love in this person. If he says that he feels good only when he helps others, he thereby admits to you his addiction. There are people who do not love themselves enough and are looking for their love, trying to benefit. When they are useful, they get the feeling that they are loved. You need to show sympathy for this person and decide that from now on with regard to the services he wants to provide you, sometimes you will say "yes" and sometimes "no." You are free to decide what suits you best.
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How to explain to a person you previously needed, that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?

  1. I live alone. Very often I get up at night to eat a piece of cake with a glass of milk. I do not understand why at the same time I go on tiptoe and try not to make noise. Maybe because I feel guilty?
    You have already answered your question. Sure, you consider yourself very guilty. This fault sits so deep in you that, against your will, it influences your behavior. It probably seems strange to you that you act as if you are living with other people. Who were you afraid of when you were a child? Who repeated to you that you should not do this or say this, and who inspired you that you
  2. How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness to induce love for himself? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.
    The previous answer extends to this question. Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that it can harm another? A person who decides to help someone, without thinking about what he can do, thinks only about himself. He needs someone's positive result to feel their own significance. Therefore he
  3. How to help the old man who wants to regain the health that he had at the age of twenty? He has been paralyzed for four years. Do doctors blame for this?
    When the problem of physical condition arises, this is not always the fault of the doctors. I admit that medical errors happen and that some doctors negligently harm their patients, and not only physically, but also at other levels. Mistakes can be made in all professions: it is human nature to make mistakes. This is also included in the general plan. The doctor must carry his share
  4. How do I deal with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that it is difficult for him to take responsibility for making?
    The consequences of his decisions seem hard to him, and he would like to hold me responsible for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him anxiety. Example: a divorce, initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman made the decision to divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It's hard for him to take on
  5. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  6. My husband has a panicky fear of being out of money. And this is despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to say?
    Have you tried to just talk to him about what is bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid of losing money? If so, what did your husband, as a child, feel when you saw this fear of your father? He condemned the father? When we condemn our parents, we eventually become the same as them. It would be good to give
  7. I am a responsible person, and I consider that my burden is too heavy. What to do to not feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
    Is the severity that you feel the result of having taken on too many commitments? Have you pledged to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find the true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much
  8. What happens to a person if he is guilty, but does not give himself the report and does not consider himself guilty? Will he be punished? Will he reap what he has sown?
    Laws apply to everyone, regardless of whether we believe in them or not. For example, if someone drives through a red light and tells the policeman that he doesn’t know the law or that he doesn’t believe in it, this jigit will still have a fine. It is the same with spiritual laws - the law of karma or the law of cause and effect. If a person knows that he is breaking the law, and yet deliberately
  9. How do I deal with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy that reach panic?
    I am afraid that such a state of mind can seriously affect me. This situation affects you because it annoys you and because you refuse to understand the condition of your spouse. A person gets depressed when he has low self-esteem. You undoubtedly noticed that in moments of crisis the spouse complains of pain in the region of the heart. The heart shrinks and the body
  10. What you can already do - 2, just don't know about it or pretend you don't know how
    You can reflect on the topic of "Signs". Such reflections pushed me on such magic. Several black cats live in our huge courtyard - at the same time I saw three. Their impudence was limitless, and the power of influence on my life is amazing to the ability to spoil everything on the day when a black cat came across to me on the road. And so it went on until I became
  11. My husband and son wake up hard in the morning. I have to wake them up several times. It ends with the fact that I shout them out of bed so that her husband is not late for work, and the son is at school. What should I do so as not to feel responsible for being late?
    Firstly, it is not your responsibility, and secondly, you need to place this responsibility on them, telling them that from now on they will be responsible for the consequences of their choices. Currently, they have made the choice to send in the morning, and you decide to be responsible for the consequences of their choice, fearing what might happen to them. When they themselves have to answer for the consequences of their choice,
  12. How can a small child be responsible for his illness, especially in infancy, when he cannot reap what he did not have time to sow?
    We must remember that even if the soul has a new body, this does not mean that it cannot be old. If you wear new clothes all week, this doesn’t mean that you are the same age as this clothes, right? This applies to man. The body is the clothing of the soul, its shell, its carrier for movement in the physical world. When a baby or little child is sick, especially if the disease
  13. When someone turns to us for help, how to provide it and not feel responsible for the results?
    I see that you do not want to feel responsible for the results obtained by another person, and this is very good. Half of your problem is already solved. True love is the desire to help, guide, advise others without any expectations, that is, without feeling responsible for the results. No one can control the entire sequence of stages leading to some
  14. Currently, I have a friend with whom we have been meeting for a year now, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain long-term relations with him. But he says he is not ready, that he is afraid to make a commitment.
    You say we reap what we sow. Why does this happen to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time for me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what motivates me so much to want to make a commitment? Maybe you this
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