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How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend to feel at ease at our meetings during holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we are all together, I feel embarrassed.


Did you ask your ex-spouse and your children if your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel awkward, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you pledged to ensure that they always feel at ease? If yes, then you have entered into this contract! It would be nice to reconsider your understanding of responsibility.
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How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend to feel at ease at our meetings during holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we are all together, I feel embarrassed.

  1. When I go out for a walk alone or with a girlfriend, my husband always blames me or sulks me. Sometimes I still go out for a walk, and sometimes not. Somehow, I feel ill at ease. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I do not go out for a walk, then I feel unhappy. I know I give in to guilt, but I can't help it. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, who says that a good wife should not go out without her husband. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and wins more often. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to come to an agreement and
  2. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, relying on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either to make it not happen again, because you feel guilty, or to change your
  3. How can I make my spouse understand that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without injuring his pride?
    The first thing that strikes you in your question is: you want your spouse to understand something. You no doubt have the false idea that “to understand is to love.” You believe that if you manage to cautiously let him know that you are suffocating, he will love you more. You are deeply mistaken. And little depends on the tactics you choose. You don't have to
  4. How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness in order to endear himself? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.
    The previous answer extends to this question. Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that it can harm another? A person who decides to help someone, not thinking about what he can do, thinks only about himself. He needs someone's positive result to feel their own significance. Therefore he
  5. How to help her husband understand their feelings, not telling him what to do?
    My husband had an affair with one woman, but we got along again. After that, he met her twice, seemingly at work, and I told him that he could turn his affairs over to someone else and not meet with her. If you really want to help your husband understand his feelings, then ask him to share his feelings with you. If you start advising him how to act,
  6. How do I deal with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that it is difficult for him to take responsibility for making?
    The consequences of his decisions seem hard for him, and he would like to hold me responsible for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him anxiety. Example: a divorce, initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman made the decision to divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It's hard for him to take on
  7. How to help a person who is going to divorce, do not feel guilty? This is a man who has been married for fifteen years and has two children, eight and fifteen years old.
    First of all, did this person turn to you for help? This is the most important point that should be checked in any form of aid relationship. You should also understand that only he himself can truly help himself. His guilt comes from his mental perception. He must choose whether he still wants to feel guilty or wants to
  8. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, whereas my parents were never happy together.
    I feel obliged to help my mother by giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is observed very often. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  9. How to do so not to feel guilty for the fact that sometimes I leave the spouse alone at home with the children, while I go to my girlfriend, to the store, or just walk, breathe fresh air and think about myself?
    Guilt feelings are the main obstacle to human evolution. Since it arises from our beliefs, that is, on the mental level, the only way to avoid the feeling of guilt is to change your beliefs. You can read about the beliefs in the book, but first of all you must internally make sure: are you really to blame? Only intentionally causing harm to anyone can serve
  10. How not to feel guilty if the husband constantly shifts his responsibility to me?
    First of all, your spouse cannot transfer his responsibility to you. You are probably talking about his obligations. Secondly, has an agreement been reached between you and clearly defined obligations at this level? Who and what decided to do? Your spouse must always be responsible for the consequences of his actions. If he does not want to do anything, it would be nice to check that
  11. When someone turns to us for help, how can we provide it without feeling responsible for the results?
    I see that you do not want to feel responsible for the results obtained by another person, and this is very good. Half of your problem is already solved. True love is the desire to help, guide, advise others without any expectations, that is, without feeling responsible for the results. No one can control the entire sequence of stages leading to some
  12. How to help someone who does not believe in himself is negatively tuned, but has an incredible potential?
    You actually say that you see the potential possibilities of this person, but he himself does not see them. First, agree that this person cannot yet see his own significance, and that it is useless for him to believe in something he cannot believe in. When a person considers himself to be ugly, then even if everyone tells him that he is handsome, he still doubts it. He doubts
  13. When I openly tell my husband about how I relate to some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly replies that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is what he is and cannot change.
    He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my well-being myself. How should I be in this situation? Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone except himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Each person can change for the better if
  14. How can I feel happy if my spouse does not want to rise to my level of development?
    Mutual respect is fine, but for happiness this is not enough for me. If your spouse does not want to work on himself in the same direction and in the same rhythm as you, then this does not mean that he stopped in his development. It just doesn’t develop as fast as you. No one in this world has the right to control the evolution of another. If you give up trying to force a husband
  15. Why does a person act and feel that way and not otherwise?
    People act and feel not in accordance with real facts, but in accordance with their ideas about these facts. Everyone has their own specific image of the world and the people around them, and a person behaves as if the truth are these images, not the objects they represent. Some images of almost all normal individuals add up to one pattern. Man represents
  16. On the mode of the child from the moment of his birth until he gets on his feet
    With regard to the regime of pregnant women and women close to the birth, then we will write about this in separate articles. Regarding the regime of a newborn with a balanced kind, scientists have said that the first duty is to cut the umbilical cord, leaving it on four fingers, then bandage it with slightly twisted clean wool so that it does not hurt; after that you need to put a flap on this place
  17. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  18. My mother has been in a psychiatric institute for more than a year, waiting for her placement in a medical institution. Since I am the only person through whom she communicates with the outside world, I feel obliged to take care of her. Other than the trust she gives me, what gift can I get from this situation? Our relations have never been close, practically they simply do not exist.
    As for the gift, the hint about it is contained in your question. This is the perfect case to get close to your mother. However, how do you experience a sense of duty towards her? Do you care for her from a pure heart? Would you feel guilty if you didn't do it? No child owes his parents and vice versa. However, the bonds that bind parents and children provide
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