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How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness to induce love for himself? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.


The previous answer extends to this question.
Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that it can harm another?
A person who decides to help someone, not thinking about what he can do, thinks only about himself. He needs someone's positive result to feel their own significance. Therefore, he seeks to impose his beliefs: he is convinced that whoever follows his advice will automatically become happier. His own happiness depends on the success and well-being of another person. Such a well-wisher hardly realizes that others can choose their own path, which differs from its path. That is why when people ask for help, it is important to check whether they are ready to accept help — the one you can offer them without any expectations and without seeking to control the results.
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How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness to induce love for himself? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.

  1. How do I deal with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that it is difficult for him to take responsibility for making?
    The consequences of his decisions seem hard to him, and he would like to hold me responsible for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him anxiety. Example: a divorce, initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman made the decision to divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It's hard for him to take on
  2. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend to feel at ease at our meetings during holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we are all together, I feel embarrassed.
    Did you ask your ex-spouse and your children whether your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel awkward, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you pledged to make sure that they always feel
  3. How to explain to a person you previously needed, that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?
    First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or are you afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may actually exist only in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel yourself firmly on his feet to do
  4. For a short time I had a lover, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, relying on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either to make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or to change your
  5. When I go out for a walk alone or with a friend, my husband always blames me or sulks me. Sometimes I still go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel ill at ease. If I go for a walk, I feel guilty. If I do not go out for a walk, then I feel unhappy. I know that I give in to guilt, but I can’t do anything with myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, who says that a good wife should not go out without her husband. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part - stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to come to an agreement and
  6. How to help a person who is going to divorce, do not feel guilty? This is a man who has been married for fifteen years and has two children, eight and fifteen years old.
    First of all, did this person turn to you for help? This is the most important point that should be checked in any form of assistance relationship. You should also understand that only he himself can truly help himself. His guilt comes from his mental perception. He must choose whether he still wants to feel guilty or wants to
  7. How to help someone who does not believe in himself is negatively tuned, but has an incredible potential?
    You actually say that you see the potential possibilities of this person, but he himself does not see them. First, agree that this person cannot yet see his own significance and that it is useless to make him believe in something he cannot believe in. When a person considers himself to be ugly, then even if everyone tells him that he is handsome, he still doubts it. He doubts
  8. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  9. Why does a person act and feel this way and not otherwise?
    People act and feel not in accordance with real facts, but in accordance with their ideas about these facts. Everyone has their own particular image of the world and the people around them, and the person behaves as if the truth are these images, and not the objects they represent. Some images of almost all normal individuals are formed in one pattern. Man represents
  10. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, whereas my parents were never happy together.
    I feel obliged to help my mother by giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is observed very often. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  11. I am a responsible person, and I consider that my burden is too heavy. What to do to not feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
    Is the severity that you feel the result of having taken on too many commitments? Have you pledged to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find the true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much
  12. What happens to a person if he is guilty, but does not give himself the report and does not consider himself guilty? Will he be punished? Will he reap what he has sown?
    Laws apply to everyone, regardless of whether we believe in them or not. For example, if someone drives through a red light and tells the policeman that he doesn’t know the law or that he doesn’t believe in it, this jigit will still have a fine. It is the same with spiritual laws - the law of karma or the law of cause and effect. If a person knows that he is breaking the law, and yet deliberately
  13. How a child learns to behave.
    As the child develops a nervous system, he seems to be prompted to leave his old ways of satisfaction and move on to new ones as soon as they become available to him; at the heart of this impulse lies the fact that we, using our mode of expression, agreed to call it the word "physis." The surroundings also create conditions forcing him to do everything that he
  14. How to help the old man who wants to regain the health that he had at the age of twenty? He has been paralyzed for four years. Do doctors blame for this?
    When the problem of physical condition arises, this is not always the fault of the doctors. I admit that medical errors happen and that some doctors negligently harm their patients, and not only physically, but also at other levels. Mistakes can be made in all professions: it is human nature to make mistakes. This is also included in the general plan. The doctor must carry his share
  15. How to do so not to feel guilty for the fact that sometimes I leave the spouse alone at home with the children, while I go to my girlfriend, to the store or just walk, breathe fresh air and think about myself?
    Guilt feelings are a major obstacle to human evolution. Since it arises from our beliefs, that is, on the mental level, the only way to avoid the feeling of guilt is to change your beliefs. You can read about the beliefs in the book, but first of all you must internally make sure: are you really to blame? Only intentionally causing evil to anyone can serve
  16. How not to feel guilty if the husband constantly shifts his responsibility to me?
    First of all, your spouse cannot pass his responsibility on you. You are probably talking about his obligations. Secondly, has an agreement been reached between you and clearly defined commitments at this level? Who and what decided to do? Your spouse must always be responsible for the consequences of his actions. If he does not want to do anything, it would be nice to check that
  17. How do I deal with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy that reach panic?
    I am afraid that such a state of mind can seriously affect me. This situation affects you because it annoys you and because you refuse to understand the condition of your spouse. A person gets depressed when he has low self-esteem. You undoubtedly noticed that in moments of crisis the spouse complains of pain in the region of the heart. The heart shrinks and the body
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