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How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness in order to provoke self-love? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.


The previous answer extends to this question.
Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that this can harm another?
A person who decides to help someone without thinking about what he can do is only think about himself. He needs someone’s positive result to feel his own worth. Therefore, he seeks to impose his beliefs: he is convinced that anyone who follows his advice will automatically become happier. His own happiness depends on the success and well-being of another person. This kind of well-wisher hardly realizes that others can choose their own path, different from his path. That is why when people ask for help, it is so important to check whether they are ready to accept help - the one that you can offer them without any expectations and without the desire to control the results.
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How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness in order to provoke self-love? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.

  1. How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?
    The consequences of his decisions seem difficult to him, and he would like to blame me for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him concern. Example: a divorce initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman decided on a divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It’s hard for him to take on
  2. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend feel at ease at our meetings during the holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we find ourselves all together, I feel awkward.
    Have you asked your ex-spouse and your children if your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel uncomfortable, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you made a commitment to ensure that they always feel
  3. How to explain to the person you previously needed that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?
    First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or whether you are afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may only really exist in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel strong enough to stand on your feet to manage
  4. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the conjugal relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
  5. When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
  6. How to help a person who is going to get a divorce not feel guilty? This is a man who has been married for fifteen years and has two children of eight and fifteen years old.
    First of all, did this person turn to you for help? This is the most important point that should be checked for any form of assistance relationship. You must also understand that only he himself can truly help himself. His guilt comes from his mental perception. He must choose whether he still wants to feel guilty or if he wants to
  7. How to help someone who does not believe in themselves, is negatively inclined, but has incredible potential?
    You actually say that you see the potential opportunities of this person, but he himself does not see them. First, agree that this person cannot yet see his own significance and that it is useless to make him believe in something that he cannot believe. When a person considers himself ugly, then even if everyone tells him that he is handsome, he still doubts it. He doubts
  8. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you should be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, to help them learn, to transfer their knowledge to them, to give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  9. Why does a person act and feel this way and not otherwise?
    People act and feel, not in accordance with actual facts, but in accordance with their ideas about these facts. Each has its own specific image of the world and the people around it, and a person behaves as if the truth is these images, and not the objects they represent. Some images of almost all normal individuals develop according to one pattern. Man represents
  10. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, while my parents have never been happy together.
    I feel obligated to help my mother, giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is very common. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  11. I am a responsible person, and I believe that on my shoulders is too heavy a burden. What to do in order not to feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
    Is the burden you feel a consequence of the fact that you have made too many commitments? Have you committed to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find a true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much
  12. What happens to a person if he is guilty, but does not realize himself in this report and does not consider himself guilty? Will he be punished? Will he reap what he sowed?
    Laws apply to everyone regardless of whether we believe in them or not. For example, if someone passes a red light and tells the policeman that he does not know the law or that he does not believe in him, this dzhigit will still get a fine. The situation is exactly the same with spiritual laws - the law of karma or the law of cause and effect. If a person knows that he is breaking the law, and yet consciously
  13. How a child learns to behave.
    As the child develops the nervous system, he seems to have an urge to leave his former ways of satisfaction and move on to new ones as soon as they become available to him; this motivation is based on what we, using our way of expression, agreed to call the word "physis". Those around him also create conditions that force him to do everything that he
  14. How to help an old person who wants to regain the health that he had at the age of twenty? He has been paralyzed for four years. Are doctors to blame?
    When a physical problem arises, then the doctors are not always guilty of this. I admit that medical errors occur and that some doctors negligently harm their patients, moreover, not only physically, but also at other levels. Mistakes can be made in all professions: it is human nature to make mistakes. This is also part of the overall plan. The doctor needs to carry his share
  15. How can I make sure that I don’t feel guilty that sometimes I leave my spouse alone at home with my children, and I go to my friend, to the store or just walk, breathe fresh air and think about myself?
    Feeling guilty is the main obstacle to human evolution. Since it arises from our beliefs, that is, on a mental level, the only way to avoid guilty feelings is to change our beliefs. You can read about the beliefs in the book, but first of all you have to make sure internally: are you really to blame? Only intentionally causing harm to someone can serve
  16. How not to feel guilty if the husband constantly shifts his responsibility to me?
    First of all, your spouse cannot pass on his responsibility to you. You are probably talking about his obligations. Secondly, have you already reached an agreement and clearly defined obligations at this level? Who and what is decided to do? Your spouse should always be responsible for the consequences of their actions. If he does not want to do anything, it would be nice to verify that
  17. How do I behave with my spouse if he often has bouts of melancholy that reach a panic state?
    I’m afraid that such a state of mind can seriously affect me. This situation affects you because it annoys you and because you refuse to understand the condition of your spouse. A person becomes depressed when he has low self-esteem. You have undoubtedly noticed that at times of crisis a spouse complains of pain in the heart. The heart contracts and the body
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