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When I openly tell my husband how I feel about some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly answers that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is who he is and cannot change.


He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my well-being myself. How should I be in this situation?
Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone other than himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Everyone can change for the better, if he wants to. What he tells you, most likely means that he does not want to change anything at the moment. It is not the same.
He is absolutely right when he claims that he cannot help you in any way. If you do not like some of his actions, then you yourself are to blame.
First of all, you should learn to perceive reality as it is. In other words, you must understand that the actions of the spouse annoy you. Then it is advisable to clarify what exactly annoys you. Then try to connect this with that side of your being that you do not accept.
Do you consider that your husband directly encroaches on your personal freedom with his unseemly acts, mocks you and spoils your life? Or maybe you just do not approve of his actions? Try to analyze your internal state to see if they concern you directly.
Decide then whether you are ready to continue to live like this. If the husband’s unseemly actions concern only himself, then you should not interfere.
Since there are no concrete examples in your question, I will give my own in order to better illustrate my point of view.
Suppose you are annoyed in him that he often leaves to relax with friends, or that he is not averse to drinking a glass or two of alcohol. In both cases, it does not concern you. You should learn to love your life, strive to achieve personal happiness, while remaining independent of it.
Suppose now that he invites a crowd of friends to the house and until the morning they make noise and make bedlam in the house. In this case, it encroaches directly on your personal freedom. In such a situation, you should explain to him and try to find a compromise, as it concerns both of you.
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When I openly tell my husband how I feel about some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly answers that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is who he is and cannot change.

  1. My husband has a panic fear of being without money. And this despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to tell him?
    Have you tried just talking to him about what's bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid to be left without money? If so, what did your husband as a child feel when he saw this fear of his father? Did he judge the father? When we condemn our parents, we ultimately become just like them. It would be nice to give
  2. At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.
    You say that we reap what we sow. Why is this happening to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time this has happened to me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what makes me want so much to make a commitment? Maybe you are this
  3. You say that the person does not want to be helped, then you should not force him. What can you say about Jesus, who raised Lazarus and restored sight to the blind?
    Jesus was the best teacher that mankind knew in terms of responsibility, love, etc. He always shook those who asked for his help. Even when he healed people, he always added: “Let what you believe happen to you”, which means that the one who asked for his help was healed, depending on what he believed. Jesus was just an intermediary helping
  4. How can you say that everything that happens to us is caused by an internal cause? I stopped at a red light, and at that time another car hit me from behind. How can I be the cause of this?
    At present, due to our great lack of awareness, it is very difficult to know exactly the internal cause of each accident (or consequence) in our external world. Take an example of your accident. Even if your awareness is not enough to remember what you were thinking about at the time of the accident, or to understand the cause of the accident. I suggest you start your own investigation, starting from
  5. It seems to me that my husband condemns me whenever it comes to my attendance at a lecture at the Listen to Your Body Center.
    Beside him, I feel like I am not able to reason sensibly. He often calls me naive. What should I do? Your spouse only expresses what you think of yourself deep down. Have you ever thought that you are not judicious enough? Don't you think that naivety is a manifestation of a character weakness? Do you sometimes blame yourself for being too naive
  6. I would like to know what I can learn from my mother. It makes me experience emotions - in the sense that it always contradicts me. She is negatively inclined and always says that I will not be able to achieve success in the business I have begun.
    Judging by your question, I see that you blame your mother for your own emotions. I emphasize once again that a person cannot be held responsible for anyone's emotions. Only you are responsible for your emotions, that is, for your reaction to the words or deeds of your mother. You may not agree with what she tells you, but it’s important that you feel that she is acting like her
  7. How to make it clear to my spouse that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without hurting his pride?
    The first thing that catches your eye in your question: you want the spouse to understand something. You, no doubt, have a false idea that "to understand is to love." You believe that if you manage to carefully let him know that you are suffocating, he will love you more. You are deeply mistaken. And little here depends on what tactics you choose. You don't have to
  8. Recently I was robbed, and I do not understand how this can come from me, given that I have never stolen anything from anyone. Waiting for your explanation.
    Are you sure that you never took anything from anyone? Look at what bothers you the most about this paint. They often say to me: “What worries me most is that they invaded my personal life, that someone else was delving into my things.” If this is your case, are you sure that you have never delved into someone's personal life or did not want to do this? Or that they never stole
  9. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
  10. My sister has breast cancer, already has metastases. She was treated by a healer, went to prayer sessions, etc. Currently, she says that she is giving herself into the hands of GOD and is gradually preparing for death. She has two children of nine and fifteen. What can I do as a sister?
    Your sister, apparently, has already made her choice. If she made a decision, it is important that you respect him. However, I see that you want to come to her aid, since it is difficult for you to accept her death. It’s important for you to clarify what is hard for you to accept. What do you feel in the shower? The next time you go to her, share your doubts with her, tell her that you have great difficulty believing in
  11. How to earn the love of a mother-in-law who does not want to perceive me as I am?
    I want to help her with this, because I believe that she needs the help of a psychoanalyst. In addition, it would help me in my relationship with my husband. When a conflict arises between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, it is likely that the intimate relationship of the spouses also suffers. If the mother-in-law has a very developed possessive instinct in relation to her son and if she hardly accepts her daughter-in-law, most often this
  12. When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I get the feeling that I am an indifferent mother who does not give a damn about her children. I am afraid that they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
    First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who does not care about anything, who does not feel anything and who is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? Teaching your children to take responsibility is the best gift you can give them.
  13. You said earlier that you can breastfeed even when you have completely stopped feeding. How to do it?
    Even if you stopped breastfeeding a few months ago, you will probably be able to squeeze a drop of fluid from your chest. Your milk system has not completely stopped. Resuming breastfeeding after you have stopped breastfeeding is called relaxation. Women who have never given birth have been nursing adopted babies, and this is called induced, or induced
  14. My husband reproaches me for living in the past.
    And I believe that I reveal myself to him, my self-awareness. He himself never shows what is in his soul. When he reproaches me, I suffer from emotions, but I can’t explain what is happening to me. I came to the conclusion that it is better not to open to him. Does this mean that I do not respect myself enough or am not confident in myself? Your spouse obviously mixes two concepts: build on past experience and
  15. I always thought that the appearance, appearance of a person does not matter, that the main thing in a person is his inner beauty.
    Recently I met a man whom I really like, but to reconcile with his appearance is beyond my strength. I don’t know what to do. How to relate to him? You thought that appearance does not matter, because you yourself wanted to convince yourself of this. Now you understand that you were not sincere with yourself. If you are convinced that the appearance of a person matters to you, then simply agree with
  16. I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
    Such a relationship began to take shape when the son was very young. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about it, because he still does not understand much. There is a chill in our relationship when we get together: my husband, son and me. Can a husband guess what is happening between me and my son? Can he suffer in
  17. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend feel at ease at our meetings during the holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we find ourselves all together, I feel awkward.
    Have you asked your ex-spouse and your children if your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel uncomfortable, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you made a commitment to ensure that they always feel
  18. I don’t understand your theory. You say that you reap what you sow.
    Why does my wife almost never listen to me, although I always listen to her when she talks about her affairs or problems? Are you really listening to what your spouse is saying, or maybe you are listening to your inner voice while she is speaking? Aren't you criticizing her inwardly in those moments when she is talking to you? Are you pondering your answer while she speaks?
  19. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you should be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, to help them learn, to transfer their knowledge to them, to give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
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