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I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
Such a relationship began to take shape when the son was very young. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about it, because he still does not understand much. There is a chill in our relationship when we get together: my husband, son and me. Can a husband guess what is happening between me and my son? Can he suffer in such a situation?
At least you are aware of what is happening, and that is already wonderful. At the next stage, you have to learn to talk about it openly and be natural. Start with your husband and ask how he feels in this situation. Is he jealous of you for his son?
Undoubtedly, between you and your son there is a pronounced Oedipus complex. Talk about this with your son. It will be useful for him to find out what the Oedipus complex is, since he also experiences all things hard and finds it difficult to understand these relationships. If the son now does not get rid of the Oedipus complex in relation to the mother, then in the future he may have serious problems in intimate relations with women.
If you really love your son, then I advise you to do everything possible so that both of you finally get rid of the Oedipus complex. Subsequently, if the husband does not mind, you could even talk about it three together.
It is difficult to understand the true cause of such a strong attraction between one of the parents and the child, but nevertheless it exists. This is probably due to the fact that, returning to Earth, we meet the same souls that surrounded us in our previous lives. We belong to huge families of souls and return to this world in different roles: either in the role of mother, child, lover, etc. We return with the same souls to learn how to accept them in any circumstances.
If you can talk about this three together and frankly share your doubts, desires, views and feelings, I can assure you that your family life will be much better.
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I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
- I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
- The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so?
The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so? You yourself said that once you met a person who looked like your ex-spouse. My husband was an alcoholic. So, am I destined to meet an alcoholic again? We are attracted to people with the same psychology, if there is a desire to complete what is not
- At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.
You say that we reap what we sow. Why is this happening to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time this has happened to me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what makes me want so much to make a commitment? Maybe you are this
- My husband has a panic fear of being without money. And this despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to tell him?
Have you tried just talking to him about what's bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid to be left without money? If so, what did your husband as a child feel when he saw this fear of his father? Did he judge the father? When we condemn our parents, we ultimately become just like them. It would be nice to give
- I convince myself that I am not leaving my husband just because he will disappear without me. Is this not stupid of me?
Your husband, perhaps, will disappear without you, and you yourself thought about the fact that it would not be easy for you without him? Apparently, he is very dependent on you. It is possible that you are both interdependent. I can assume that you like to play the role of a mother in your relationship with him. When you are fully aware of your own addiction, sit down and calmly talk to him. Plan this conversation on
- My husband reproaches me for living in the past.
And I believe that I reveal myself to him, my self-awareness. He himself never shows what is in his soul. When he reproaches me, I suffer from emotions, but I can’t explain what is happening to me. I came to the conclusion that it is better not to open to him. Does this mean that I do not respect myself enough or am not confident in myself? Your spouse obviously mixes two concepts: build on past experience and
- When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, then I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
- When I openly tell my husband how I feel about some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly answers that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is who he is and cannot change.
He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my well-being myself. How should I be in this situation? Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone other than himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Everyone can change for the better if
- I would like to know what I can learn from my mother. It makes me experience emotions - in the sense that it always contradicts me. She is negatively inclined and always says that I will not be able to achieve success in the business I have begun.
Judging by your question, I see that you blame your mother for your own emotions. I emphasize once again that a person cannot be held responsible for anyone's emotions. Only you are responsible for your emotions, that is, for your reaction to the words or deeds of your mother. You may not agree with what she tells you, but it’s important that you feel that she is acting like her
- As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you should be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, to help them learn, to transfer their knowledge to them, to give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
- How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?
The consequences of his decisions seem heavy to him, and he would like to blame me for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him concern. Example: a divorce initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman decided on a divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It’s hard for him to take on
- When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I get the feeling that I am an indifferent mother who does not give a damn about her children. I am afraid that they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who does not care about anything, who does not feel anything and who is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? Teaching your children to take responsibility is the best gift you can give them.
- Recently I was robbed, and I do not understand how this can come from me, given that I have never stolen anything from anyone. Waiting for your explanation.
Are you sure that you never took anything from anyone? Look at what bothers you the most about this paint. They often say to me: “What worries me most is that they invaded my personal life, that someone else was delving into my things.” If this is your case, are you sure that you have never delved into someone's personal life or did not want to do this? Or that they never stole
- You have already said that feeling guilty is the greatest source of karma. What do you mean?
Karma is a manifestation of the law of cause and effect. In accordance with this law, anyone reaps what he sows. Since this is a spiritual law, it only applies to what was sown from us, from our essence, and not in the outside world. This means that we reap according to our motivation, and not depending on the action or the spoken word. All
- I am a responsible person, and I believe that on my shoulders is too heavy a burden. What to do in order not to feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
Is the burden you feel a consequence of the fact that you have made too many commitments? Have you committed to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find a true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much