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For a short time I had a lover, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?


The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, relying on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You have to choose one of two things: either to make it not happen again, because you feel guilty, or to change your scale of values.
To change moral value, you need to change the belief behind it. Now you believe that it is the fault of two other people who are going through. Do you really want to keep believing in it? In addition, you blame yourself. Are you really to blame? Was the purpose of your novel to harm your former lover and his wife? Now you need to forgive yourself for acting contrary to one of your principles. Take yourself and give yourself the right to let your desire prevail. This does not mean that you are a bad person.
Let your former lover and his wife organize their own lives. Then you will have more time for your life. On the other hand, it would be interesting to find out why you were attracted by a man who was not truly free, because he had not yet completely severed his relationship with his wife.
When we say that we are responsible for what happens to us, it’s just another way of saying that we are reaping what we sow. Seed and harvest are our responsibility. If I decide to smash a vegetable garden and want to harvest carrots, potatoes and turnips from it, then accordingly I must sow them. If I sow something else, then, of course, I will harvest another crop. This is easy to understand when you talk about physical laws, but the concept of a harvest applies to other laws, and laws exist in all areas.
This is the reason why it is so important for us to look at what is happening to us and agree that in a hundred cases out of a hundred nothing happens just like that. Some incidents take us by surprise because it seems to us that we did not provoke them and did not want them. We still have a lot of unconsciousness, not only in relation to our previous lives, but also in relation to our present life. For example, most people find it hard to remember what they ate last week. Imagine everything that we have changed our mind, done, uttered and felt from our very birth! Everything that happens in us, breaks out from the inside into the outside world, then to return to us.
It is inevitable.
The law of cause and effect is also called the boomerang law: everything that we throw returns to us. It is also sometimes called the law of action and reaction: every action causes a reaction, a reaction causes the next action, and so on. The effect is an external manifestation of the internal cause. They are identical. That is why we can constantly use what is happening in the outer world, to realize what is happening in our inner world. Some people call this the law of karma: we reap what we sow. If I sow good, love, compassion, tolerance, then I will reap it. More conscious people listen to what they feel and ask themselves: “Do I like my harvest?” If the answer is no, they should start sowing differently.
I will give a few examples:
• As a rule, parents want to have children who can take responsibility. But what are they sowing? Instead of sowing lessons of responsibility, they decide everything for them.
• And what about a spouse who wants her husband to do household chores while she spends her time complaining that he is not doing anything? Constantly paying attention to what he is not doing, she is likely to achieve that he will do it less and less.
• Now look at the person complaining about the lack of love. If he lacks it, why does he not sow it? He should only offer it without expectations to all those around him, and he will reap it.
• People eager to live in abundance and forever worried about money, fearing that they will not have enough, express their thoughts about their lack, and this is what they reap.
• A person who wants to be accepted by others, but constantly criticizing everything, does not sow what he wants to shake.
• A father who beats his son for having beaten the neighbors' child will reap only the violence that comes from his son.
These examples illustrate situations that are very common in our everyday life. Thus, one should realize and visualize how we are reaping incidents, accidents and the reactions of other people to our actions. This responsibility is in the hands of each of us. Everyone can say to himself: "I am responsible for what I sow, and I just have to wait for the harvest." Most people complain about their bad harvest and believe that external factors are to blame. They criticize and condemn others, they are offended by the outside world. Such an attitude is contrary to wisdom and harmony.
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For a short time I had a lover, and I feel guilty that he did not renew his marital relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How do I get rid of this guilt?

  1. When I go out for a walk alone or with a friend, my husband always blames me or sulks me. Sometimes I still go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel ill at ease. If I go for a walk, I feel guilty. If I do not go out for a walk, then I feel unhappy. I know that I give in to guilt, but I can’t do anything with myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, who says that a good wife should not go out without her husband. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part - stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to come to an agreement and
  2. How do I deal with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that it is difficult for him to take responsibility for making?
    The consequences of his decisions seem hard to him, and he would like to hold me responsible for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him anxiety. Example: a divorce, initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman made the decision to divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It's hard for him to take on
  3. How to help my children, my ex-husband and his girlfriend to feel at ease at our meetings during holidays, birthdays, etc.? I feel very at ease with his girlfriend, but as soon as we are all together, I feel embarrassed.
    Did you ask your ex-spouse and your children whether your feelings are true? If they say yes, if they really feel awkward, do they want you to help them? I feel in you a woman who shoulders responsibility for the happiness of others. Have you pledged to make sure that they always feel
  4. I often feel guilty for being so happy with my spouse, whereas my parents were never happy together.
    I feel obliged to help my mother by giving her useful advice and paying attention to her. Why can't I be happy without feeling guilty? What you are experiencing is observed very often. Many children feel guilty for having surpassed their parents in some area. When parents are unhappy, it often happens that they cling to their children. It is possible that
  5. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I think that they are too young to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of having children, that is, to monitor their material needs, help them with their studies, pass on their knowledge to them, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  6. I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to matrimonial.
    Such relationships began to take shape when the son was very small. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about this, since he still does not understand much. One feels some chill in our relationship when we all gather together: a spouse, a son, and me. Can a husband guess what is going on between me and my son? Can he suffer in
  7. What happens to a person if he is guilty, but does not give himself the report and does not consider himself guilty? Will he be punished? Will he reap what he has sown?
    Laws apply to everyone, regardless of whether we believe in them or not. For example, if someone drives through a red light and tells the policeman that he doesn’t know the law or that he doesn’t believe in it, this jigit will still have a fine. It is the same with spiritual laws - the law of karma or the law of cause and effect. If a person knows that he is breaking the law, and yet deliberately
  8. Currently, I have a friend with whom we have been meeting for a year now, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain long-term relations with him. But he says he is not ready, that he is afraid to make a commitment.
    You say we reap what we sow. Why does this happen to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time for me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what motivates me so much to want to make a commitment? Maybe you this
  9. How should one behave with a sick person who uses his illness to induce love for himself? I feel helpless because I want to help this man, but he does not believe in anything.
    The previous answer extends to this question. Why does a person often feel the need to help others without thinking that it can harm another? A person who decides to help someone, not thinking about what he can do, thinks only about himself. He needs someone's positive result to feel their own significance. Therefore he
  10. How can I get rid of the feeling of responsibility for a person dear to me who suffers in his soul? How do I get rid of deep sadness?
    If the sight of a suffering dear person fills you with sadness, then this is because this situation awakens something in you that has long lain under a bushel and what you have tried to avoid. It would be important for you to conduct an internal research to better determine the nature of this sadness. What makes you so sad? It is not by chance that we choose certain people who
  11. How can I make my spouse understand that I am suffocating from his possessive feelings towards me? How to do this without injuring his pride?
    The first thing that strikes you in your question: you want your spouse to understand something. You no doubt have the false idea that “to understand is to love.” You believe that if you manage to cautiously let him know that you are suffocating, he will love you more. You are deeply mistaken. And little here depends on what tactics you choose. You do not have to
  12. I am a responsible person, and I consider that my burden is too heavy. What to do to not feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
    Is the severity that you feel the result of having taken on too many commitments? Have you pledged to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find the true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much
  13. How can you argue that everything that happens to us is caused by an internal cause? I stopped at a red light, and at that time another car hit me from behind. How can I be the cause of this?
    At the present time, due to our great unconsciousness, it is very difficult to know precisely the internal cause of each accident (or effect) in our external world. Take the example of your accident. Even if your awareness is not enough to remember what you thought at the time of the accident, or to understand the cause of the accident. I suggest you start your own investigation, starting from
  14. When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I have a feeling that I am an indifferent mother who doesn't give a damn about her children. I'm afraid they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
    First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who doesn’t care anything, who doesn’t feel anything and is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? To teach your children to take responsibility - this is the best gift you can give them.
  15. How not to feel guilty if the husband constantly shifts his responsibility to me?
    First of all, your spouse cannot pass his responsibility on you. You are probably talking about his obligations. Secondly, has an agreement been reached between you and clearly defined commitments at this level? Who and what decided to do? Your spouse must always be responsible for the consequences of his actions. If he does not want to do anything, it would be nice to check that
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