home
about the project
Medical news
For authors
Licensed books on medicine
<< Previous Next >>

The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so?


The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so? You yourself said that once you met a person who looked like your ex-spouse. My husband was an alcoholic. So, am I destined to meet an alcoholic again?
We are attracted to people with the same psychology if there is a desire to complete what was not possible to do in the past.
In order for you to be attracted to other natures in the future, you had to accept him as you were when you parted with your husband without condemning him. Then you would not have the desire to meet a man like him, because your perceiving mission would be completed. This is exactly what I call "surviving a divorce in love."
We live in order to learn to love each other with all our strengths and weaknesses, and the spouses whom we choose help us see those of our parties that we do not accept. We know that we have them, but sometimes we refuse to accept them.
You were not happy with your husband that he was an alcoholic. Alcoholism is an addiction. Therefore, your spouse’s addiction has helped you see your addiction. From whom or what are you addicted to? From sweets, nicotine, drugs? Maybe you need someone's constant presence next to you? How do you perceive yourself? When you are fully aware of your addiction, you will no longer need to meet another dependent person.
Now you need to find out if you are fully aware of your own addiction.
Just imagine that you have to live with an alcoholic again. Are you still uncomfortable with this? If so, then try to clarify what is unacceptable for you: is alcoholism itself or its consequences that affect your life? The first indicates that your awareness process is not yet complete; the second is that you have the right to refuse to suffer from the consequences of your companion's addiction.
However, dependence is not always constant. If your former or future spouse is an alcoholic, it is important to be able to see yourself through him and understand to what extent you, like him, are addicted. It would be nice if you could explain to him what you realized. You could, for example, tell him: "I am also a dependent person: first of all, I am financially and financially dependent on you." Or, for example, another: "I smoke, and I have a nicotine addiction."
Whatever your addiction, be grateful to your companion for helping you realize it and see yourself from the outside. You and your husband were very dependent people living together.
Dependence is constant only when it is not accepted. To take an addiction does not mean to come to terms with it. This means that at the moment you reserve the right to this dependence. You believe that your personal happiness depends on someone or something, because you underestimate yourself. Realizing your addiction, you will begin to recover, and your addiction will gradually disappear.
<< Previous Next >>
= Skip to textbook content =

The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so?

  1. My husband has a panic fear of being without money. And this despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to tell him?
    Have you tried just talking to him about what's bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid to be left without money? If so, what did your husband as a child feel when he saw this fear of his father? Did he judge the father? When we condemn our parents, we ultimately become just like them. It would be nice to give
  2. I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
    Such a relationship began to take shape when the son was very young. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about it, because he still does not understand much. There is a chill in our relationship when we get together: my husband, son and me. Can a husband guess what is happening between me and my son? Can he suffer in
  3. WE ARE SIMILAR OR OTHER - THIS ...
    {foto9} The child’s soul is equally complex, like ours, is full of similar contradictions, in the same tragic eternal struggles: I strive and I can’t, I know what I need and I don’t know how to force myself. Y. Korchak. When I read poetry now, it seems to me that they are about me. Have people already felt and even managed to put into words what is happening to me? A diary entry for a teenage girl Already in
  4. My wife goes to work. She never loved doing household chores, I know that and always knew that. I also go to work. Since we got married, maintaining order in the house constantly falls on me. It starts to bother me. We both go to work, and how can I explain to her that for the maintenance of cleanliness in the house she bears the same responsibility as I do?
    Did you make a clear commitment before deciding to live together? Maybe you made a commitment to do household chores by telling her, for example: “No problem. Will I do this? And now you are responsible for the consequences of your decision. However, if at present it has become too difficult for you, you must tell your spouse about it. Ask her
  5. So, if I get my baby to put on the breast correctly, will I never have nipple inflammation?
    Almost never, but there is one disease - a fungal infection called thrush (candida albicans) - which can occur, especially after antibiotic treatment. Women with thrush experience a burning chest pain that remains after feeding. The skin may have a reddish tint, shine and peel off. A child may have (but not always) white spots in his mouth or
  6. Recently I was robbed, and I do not understand how this can come from me, given that I have never stolen anything from anyone. Waiting for your explanation.
    Are you sure that you never took anything from anyone? Look at what bothers you the most about this paint. They often say to me: "What worries me most is that they invaded my personal life, that someone else was delving into my things." If this is your case, are you sure that you have never delved into someone's personal life or did not want to do this? Or that they never stole
  7. I convince myself that I am not leaving my husband just because he will disappear without me. Is this not stupid of me?
    Your husband, perhaps, will disappear without you, and you yourself thought about the fact that it would not be easy for you without him? Apparently, he is very dependent on you. It is possible that you are both interdependent. I can assume that you like to play the role of a mother in your relationship with him. When you are fully aware of your own addiction, sit down and calmly talk to him. Plan this conversation on
  8. My husband reproaches me for living in the past.
    And I believe that I reveal myself to him, my self-awareness. He himself never shows what is in his soul. When he reproaches me, I suffer from emotions, but I can’t explain what is happening to me. I came to the conclusion that it is better not to open to him. Does this mean that I do not respect myself enough or am not confident in myself? Your spouse obviously mixes two concepts: build on past experience and
  9. Now I have a second husband. He is a little closed, because he is afraid that he will not take root in the new family.
    New Roman "> I’m very frank with him and would like the same frankness from him. My ex-husband was a very jealous person with an excessive possessive instinct. He wanted me to be always with him. Because of this, I’m from him and My second husband is completely different. He is very independent, and it’s not easy for me. I’m indecisive: I don’t know which one I like best. First husband
  10. When I openly tell my husband how I feel about some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly answers that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is who he is and cannot change.
    He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my well-being myself. How should I be in this situation? Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone other than himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Everyone can change for the better if
  11. In my family I do everything: home, food, children, their education, their education. I don’t understand why only I should deal with all this. My husband says that when a woman does everything, it’s in the order of things. But he is also responsible for this, right?
    It depends on the obligations that you together made before the birth of the children. Have you discussed the consequences of having children in your family? Who wanted them? Suppose you really wanted to have children, but your husband told you: “I do not want to have children, but if this is so important to you, then okay. You can have children, I do not mind, because you will deal with them. " If between you has been reached
  12. It’s hard for me to accept the idea that we choose our parents. I read about this in your first book and I must admit to you that I still can’t understand this. I am an adopted child and I always want to see my real mother. Why did I choose a mother who decided to leave me?
    To learn to love despite being abandoned. Since we always reap what we sow, an abandoned child is usually a soul who somehow abandoned her child in her previous life. Apparently, this is your case. Forgiving your biological mother that she left you, you automatically forgive yourself. To do this, you need an open heart, a lot
  13. I really want to keep my current family, but I suddenly realized that my husband always decides everything for me and for the children.
    He is always right in everything, and I constantly suffer from the fact that I can’t achieve self-affirmation. What personality trait do I not accept? If the spouse always decides everything for you and does not take into account your opinion, then this means that you do not want to come to terms with your feminine principle. The same thing happens with your spouse. If he is convinced that his wife needs to be led, then this indicates that
  14. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing marital relations with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
Medical portal "MedguideBook" © 2014-2019
info@medicine-guidebook.com