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At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.


You say that we reap what we sow. Why is this happening to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time this has happened to me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me.
You have to ask yourself the following question: what makes me want so much to make a commitment? Maybe you do it because you consider yourself obligated to make a commitment? Maybe you do it out of fear that you will not be loved, because of addiction? Maybe you want to prove something? People of your environment who do not want to make a commitment to you are needed to reflect the part of you that you do not want to see at present.
Apparently, you are not giving this part of the right to exist.
Definitely, there is a part of you that is afraid of i committing itself, but there is another part that says, “No, you need to make a commitment.” Where does this “need” come from? Have you already experienced the experience when you did not make a commitment, while it would be preferable for you to do this? And the fact that a commitment is usually beneficial does not mean at all that you absolutely must commit yourself to everyone and in all areas. Maybe there are times when, realizing that you are going beyond your limits, you nevertheless assume obligations. Use your common sense to find a middle ground.
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At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.

  1. My sister has breast cancer, already has metastases. She was treated by a medicine man, went to prayer sessions, etc. At present, she says that she is giving herself into the hands of GOD and is gradually preparing for death. She has two children of nine and fifteen. What can I do as a sister?
    Your sister, apparently, has already made her choice. If she made a decision, it is important that you respect him. However, I see that you want to come to her aid, since it is difficult for you to accept her death. It’s important for you to clarify what is hard for you to accept. What do you feel in the shower? The next time you go to her, share your doubts with her, tell her that you have great difficulty believing in
  2. How can I behave with a person who seeks to undermine my faith in myself and make me feel guilty for decisions that are difficult for him to take responsibility for?
    The consequences of his decisions seem heavy to him, and he would like to blame me for them, as well as for everything that follows them and causes him concern. Example: a divorce initiated by him. From your question, I conclude that this gentleman decided on a divorce, but then it was difficult for him to come to terms with his own decision. It’s hard for him to take on
  3. I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
    The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
  4. What do you specifically mean by the expression “commit yourself”?
    To make a commitment means to bind oneself to someone or with something through an oral or written promise. Many people consider themselves bound by a commitment, but it just seems to them. Here he is - a great source of often emerging emotions. Commitment is always at the level of “have” or “do”. That is, in material terms. Responsibility refers to the field of “being,” spiritual
  5. You have already said that feeling guilty is the greatest source of karma. What do you mean?
    Karma is a manifestation of the law of cause and effect. In accordance with this law, anyone reaps what he sows. Since this is a spiritual law, it only applies to what was sown from us, from our essence, and not in the outside world. This means that we reap according to our motivation, and not depending on the action or the spoken word. All
  6. When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I have the feeling that I am an indifferent mother who does not give a damn about her children. I am afraid that they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
    First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who does not care about anything, who does not feel anything and who is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? Teaching your children to take responsibility is the best gift you can give them.
  7. I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
    Such a relationship began to take shape when the son was very young. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about it, because he still does not understand much. There is a chill in our relationship when we get together: my husband, son and me. Can a husband guess what is happening between me and my son? Can he suffer in
  8. I have a friend, he is going to get a divorce and feels very guilty. How can I help him?
    First of all, find out if he wants help. If so, tell him about your new concept of guilt. Help him find out if he really is to blame, whether he is going to harm another, or if he simply expresses his limits in relation to the difficulties he is experiencing in a married life. Explain to him that violating your limits in order to please someone
  9. I convince myself that I am not leaving my husband just because he will disappear without me. Is this not stupid of me?
    Your husband, perhaps, will disappear without you, and you yourself thought about the fact that it would not be easy for you without him? Apparently, he is very dependent on you. It is possible that you are both interdependent. I can assume that you like to play the role of a mother in your relationship with him. When you are fully aware of your own addiction, sit down and calmly talk to him. Plan this conversation on
  10. When I openly tell my husband how I feel about some of his actions, he listens to me, and then calmly answers that no one has the right to interfere in his personal life, that he is who he is and cannot change.
    He believes that I should not take everything so close to my heart and that I should take care of my well-being myself. How should I be in this situation? Your husband, of course, is right in one thing: this is his personal life and he is not obliged to report to anyone other than himself. On the other hand, I cannot agree with his statement that he cannot change. Everyone can change for the better if
  11. When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, then I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
    It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
  12. My husband has a panic fear of being without money. And this despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to tell him?
    Have you tried just talking to him about what's bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid to be left without money? If so, what did your husband as a child feel when he saw this fear of his father? Did he judge the father? When we condemn our parents, we ultimately become just like them. It would be nice to give
  13. As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
    You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you must be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, help them learn, pass on their knowledge, give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
  14. I am a responsible person, and I believe that on my shoulders is too heavy a burden. What to do in order not to feel guilty when I can not cope with all the tasks?
    Is the burden you feel a consequence of the fact that you have made too many commitments? Have you committed to yourself or to another person? Perhaps you feel responsible for the happiness of others? If the latter assumption is most likely, then in this book you will find a true definition of responsibility. If you took on too much
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