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I convince myself that I am not leaving my husband just because he will disappear without me. Is this not stupid of me?
Your husband, perhaps, will disappear without you, and you yourself thought about the fact that it would not be easy for you without him? Apparently, he is very dependent on you. It is possible that you are both interdependent. I can assume that you like to play the role of a mother in your relationship with him.
When you are fully aware of your own addiction, sit down and calmly talk to him. Plan this conversation for minutes of intimacy with him to test your feelings. Repeat what they told me and ask what he thinks about it. You could, for example, start a conversation like this: “Come on, honey, imagine for a moment that you and I are divorced. Will you feel bad without me? For some reason it seems to me that yes, and it bothers me very much. I want to talk to you about this and make sure that I'm not mistaken. Maybe it will not be easy for me without you. Or maybe not". Try to speak with him frankly, in a friendly manner, although for this you will need a lot of courage. But then it will become much easier for both of you.
It’s not easy for me now with my spouse. He claims that we are not made for each other. He says that he could cheat on me during our last trip and that would put an end to our union. He believes that the reason for our bad relationships is in me. What do you think of it?
Are you happy sharing life with someone who no longer needs? Try to realize what is holding you close to him.
What are you afraid of? What do you feel at the thought that the relationship may not have developed through your fault? Do you find the spouse’s allegations justified? Have you consciously ruined family relationships? In my opinion, you are not to blame for anything - but, obviously, belong to the type of people who are easily convinced that they are to blame.
Your spouse says out loud what you prefer to keep quiet. He helps you see the side of your "I" that constantly reproaches you.
You should both talk immediately and let each of you express your grievances. Share your doubts, explain to your spouse why so hold on to him. Just do not try to impose your opinion on him or prove your case. The main thing is to talk frankly with him about your feelings. Try to call for frankness and him. Act decisively without thinking about the consequences of this step. If it turns out that you really are better off, then do everything possible so that the divorce occurs by mutual consent and without excesses. Who knows, maybe you will converge? In any case, you have nothing to lose. Agree, it’s not easy to live next to a person who no longer needs you.
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I convince myself that I am not leaving my husband just because he will disappear without me. Is this not stupid of me?
- My husband has a panic fear of being without money. And this despite the fact that he and I have a permanent job. What to do and what to tell him?
Have you tried just talking to him about what's bothering him? You asked him if he had any questions about this, did he think about it? Was his father afraid to be left without money? If so, what did your husband as a child feel when he saw this fear of his father? Did he judge the father? When we condemn our parents, we ultimately become just like them. It would be nice to give
- At present, I have a friend whom we have been dating for a year, and I am ready to make a commitment to maintain relations with him on a long-term basis. But he says that he’s not ready, that he’s afraid to make a commitment.
You say that we reap what we sow. Why is this happening to me, because I am the type of woman who easily makes a commitment? Moreover, this is not the first time this has happened to me. And it was difficult for other people to make a commitment to me. You have to ask yourself the following question: what makes me want so much to make a commitment? Maybe you are this
- In my family I do everything: home, food, children, their education, their education. I don’t understand why only I should deal with all this. My husband says that when a woman does everything, it’s in the order of things. But he is also responsible for this, right?
It depends on the obligations that you together made before the birth of the children. Have you discussed the consequences of having children in your family? Who wanted them? Suppose you really wanted to have children, but your husband told you: “I do not want to have children, but if this is so important to you, then okay. You can have children, I do not mind, because you will deal with them. " If between you has been reached
- I had a lover for a short time, and I feel guilty for not renewing the relationship with his wife. I feel guilty for everything that was destroyed. How can I free myself from this guilt?
The relationship between your former lover and his wife does not concern you in any way. What happens between them has nothing to do with you. But, based on your scale of values, you tell yourself that it is not good to have a relationship with a married man. You must choose one of two things: either make sure that this does not happen again, because you feel guilty, or change your
- I take offense at my husband because he often criticizes me and even despises me.
He humiliates me, and I wonder why I still live with him. I reassure myself that he will ever change and eventually accept me for who I am. You continue to live with your husband because you have created for yourself a certain ideal of intimate relationships and live in anticipation of the day when it comes. You do not live in the present. I'm not saying that you should give up hope, just advise you
- As a mother, I feel responsible for feeding the children well, because I believe that they are still too small to take care of their own health. I have three children aged four to nine years. Do not you think that this responsibility lies with me?
You are not directly responsible for the health of your children. As a mother, you should be responsible for the consequences of giving birth to children - that is, to monitor their material needs, to help them learn, to transfer their knowledge to them, to give them love, and all this to the extent that you can do. On the other hand, you cannot know in advance what the results will be. You can cook the most
- Recently I was robbed, and I do not understand how this can come from me, given that I have never stolen anything from anyone. Waiting for your explanation.
Are you sure that you never took anything from anyone? Look at what bothers you the most about this paint. They often say to me: “What worries me most is that they invaded my personal life, that someone else was delving into my things.” If this is your case, are you sure that you have never delved into someone's personal life or did not want to do this? Or that they never stole
- I would like to know what I can learn from my mother. It makes me experience emotions - in the sense that it always contradicts me. She is negatively inclined and always says that I will not be able to achieve success in the business I have begun.
Judging by your question, I see that you blame your mother for your own emotions. I emphasize once again that a person cannot be held responsible for anyone's emotions. Only you are responsible for your emotions, that is, for your reaction to the words or deeds of your mother. You may not agree with what she tells you, but it’s important that you feel that she is acting like her
- How can you say that everything that happens to us is caused by an internal cause? I stopped at a red light, and at that time another car hit me from behind. How can I be the cause of this?
At present, due to our great lack of awareness, it is very difficult to know exactly the internal cause of each accident (or consequence) in our external world. Take an example of your accident. Even if your awareness is not enough to remember what you were thinking about at the time of the accident, or to understand the cause of the accident. I suggest you start your own investigation, starting from
- My sister has breast cancer, already has metastases. She was treated by a healer, went to prayer sessions, etc. Currently, she says that she is giving herself into the hands of GOD and is gradually preparing for death. She has two children of nine and fifteen. What can I do as a sister?
Your sister, apparently, has already made her choice. If she made a decision, it is important that you respect him. However, I see that you want to come to her aid, since it is difficult for you to accept her death. It’s important for you to clarify what is hard for you to accept. What do you feel in the shower? The next time you go to her, share your doubts with her, tell her that you have great difficulty believing in
- When I, the mother of the family, allow the children to take responsibility, I get the feeling that I am an indifferent mother who does not give a damn about her children. I am afraid that they will also judge me when they grow up. What is the reason for this fear?
First of all, ask your children to give you their definition of indifference. Here is my definition: an indifferent person is a person who does not care about anything, who does not feel anything and who is not touched by others. Do you really consider yourself an indifferent mother? Do you really believe that? Teaching your children to take responsibility is the best gift you can give them.
- Someone told me that breastfeeding prevents pregnancy, but maybe it's all just talk?
Exceptional breastfeeding reduces the risk of becoming pregnant. During the first six months, until you have started your period and while you are fully breastfeeding, day and night, you are 98% protected from pregnancy. This is tantamount to protection with other modern contraceptives. In the next section (“How does breastfeeding happen?") You will find out
- I find myself having a relationship with my son, in many ways similar to marital relations.
Such a relationship began to take shape when the son was very young. He is now fourteen years old, and I would like to know how to talk to him about it, because he still does not understand much. There is a chill in our relationship when we get together: my husband, son and me. Can a husband guess what is happening between me and my son? Can he suffer in
- If something hurts you, this does not mean that you are a bad person.
When you managed to create a mask so as not to suffer, it was a heroic act, a feat of self-love. This mask helped you survive and adapt to the family environment that you yourself chose before incarnating. The true reason for our birth in a certain family or our attraction to people with the same trauma as ours is that from the very beginning we like it when others
- I believe that giving birth to children is a big responsibility. It can even be called a lifetime contract. When I think I can hurt them, I feel bad. What do I need to do to think differently?
Change your beliefs. Firstly, when you decide to have a baby, you should not think that you are responsible for his happiness. Your first motivation should be the desire to enable the soul to return in order to be embodied. It is a gift of self. Then, to continue your growth, you must learn to love this soul that has chosen you. Having a baby is
- When I go out alone or with my girlfriend, my husband always condemns me or pouts me. Sometimes I go out for a walk, and sometimes not. One way or another, I feel out of place. If I go out for a walk, I feel guilty. If I don’t go out for a walk, then I feel miserable. I know that I succumb to guilt, but I can not help myself. What do i do?
It is clear that your husband only openly expresses what is already happening in you. He is part of you, which says that a good wife should not go out without her spouse. However, there is another part of you that sometimes wants to go out with someone else. Apparently, the first part is stronger and more often wins. Make contact with these two parts in you and ask them to agree and
- The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so?
The idea that I will definitely meet a man who is psychologically similar to my ex-spouse does not leave me. Is it so? You yourself said that once you met a person who looked like your ex-spouse. My husband was an alcoholic. So, am I destined to meet an alcoholic again? We are attracted to people with the same psychology, if there is a desire to complete what is not
- You have already said that feeling guilty is the greatest source of karma. What do you mean?
Karma is a manifestation of the law of cause and effect. In accordance with this law, anyone reaps what he sows. Since this is a spiritual law, it only applies to what has been sown from us, from our essence, and not in the outside world. This means that we reap according to our motivation, and not depending on the action or the spoken word. All
- I left my husband several times, because this is a real despot: he repeatedly beat me.
I constantly think about our relationship with him. And now, once again, I left him, but I’m very afraid of meeting him or his call, because I know for sure: should he call me, and I will return. How is it that I constantly return to him, although I do not want to live with him? Most likely, two conflicting natures are fighting in you and you suffer from a split personality. One side of your
- How to explain to the person you previously needed that now you can do without him, but so that he does not feel rejected?
First, you need to check whether this person really feels rejected, or whether you are afraid that he will feel rejected. This fear of rejection may only really exist in your imagination. Just tell him that you thank him for all the help he has given you, but that now you feel strong enough to stand on your feet to manage