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HOW TO PASS THIN THIN PSYCHOLOGIST

Learning to mislead people about their knowledge of psychology is quite simple. However, this is unlikely to make you a psychologist. Therefore, we will leave the details for later. In practice, psychology is not a collection of drops of understanding from the fountain of knowledge, but the plugging of holes in a leaking dam to contain an avalanche of ignorance. You need to learn how to give the last for the first.

Create an atmosphere

First of all, manners. Psychologists know how to create a courageous atmosphere of indifference, self-sacrifice and distraction, all of which together puzzles the interlocutor. The attitude is generally characterized by the phrase: “I forgot about your birthday because I was completely lost in thought about promoting science and / or helping people.”

A promising psychologist needs the appearance of social skills, which will be aimed only at returning the topic of conversation to a limited space of one's own competence.

When the victim appears in sight, he takes out a secret weapon - confused explanations. For example: “Your cat gives the impression of being very smart. Tell us how he reacts to the movement of objects in the field of peripheral vision? Ah, you do not know? Then, let me explain a little example ... "

Get impressive visuals

The second condition for creating the image of a psychologist is props. In many offices of psychologists you can find the “head of phrenology” - an ivory-colored model of the head of an asexual humanoid creature with character traits indicated on different parts of the skull, as on a map. It is likely that the head was bought as a gift on the occasion of graduation from an overly impressionable mother of a beginning psychologist. Naturally, any self-respecting psychologist understands that the dummy does not carry any valuable information, that is, it is absolutely useless. However, the thrill of the discoveries of the Victorian period gives this rarity a certain charm. Serious psychologists often take a different path, hanging a poster with a satin of the brain on the wall. This also impresses visitors, but for a psychologist it is also useless.

The finishing touch is a high-quality film that gently pokes fun at psychology. It helps to understand that psychologists do not take their work seriously (no, of course, they perceive it). In the "real world" outside the laboratory or office, psychologists do not resort to the impressive props of other professions, such as white coats or wigs. Therefore, the best defense would be to grow a beard and speak with an Austrian accent, which so far looks unusual and will have the same effect as wearing a bright golden badge with the inscription "I am a psychologist."

Fend off tricky questions

The third problem is relations with non-psychologists, or “normal” people, as psychologists like to call them. At informal events, an ordinary psychologist meets with many undoubtedly reasonable people who, when faced with him, lose their ability to think logically, so you have to endow them with what is called emergency powers.

“Can you tell me what I'm thinking?” - the most common reaction. In fact, you can answer yes or no. “No” is true, not only because reading thoughts is impossible, but because many psychologists interpret mediocre signals very mediocre.
Why should they study theories of human behavior when others are given this by nature? “Yes” is a lie of pure water, but it leads to a much more interesting conversation.

When talking with the “normal”, to know that in psychology is a lie is often as important as knowing what is an established fact. One of the common myths that a novice psychologist should throw out of his head without any hesitation is the myth that people use only 10% of the brain. This myth (originated in America in the 1930s with the development of commercial mental health improvement courses) is a lie, although perhaps this is true for some psychologists.

Sometimes people who are not psychologists expect that the psychologist who is among them knows something interesting about the features of the human mind, and therefore try to find out. Questions can be very different - those that are difficult to answer, which have no answer and are simply idiotic. For example, “How do we learn to speak?”, “What is happiness?” and “Why does a sandwich always fall butter down?” Here are some helpful answers developed by psychologists along with their true meaning.

Possible answer:

There are many explanations, but not one meets all the criteria.

Real value:

The only psychological explanation I know is too much like common sense.



Possible answer:

These are an empirical question.

Real value:

No one bothered to check it.



Possible answer:

This is a semantic nuance.

Real value:

I can’t imagine what you mean.



Possible answer:

Interestingly, how would you explain this?

Real value:

My mind clouded for a second.



Possible answer:

This is not within my competence.

Real value:

Like 99% of psychology.



And only one common question is guaranteed to perplex any psychologist: what prompted you to become a psychologist? Here is an insidious person trying to hit a psychologist with his own weapons. But you, a cunning sneak, prepared an evasive answer in advance (for example, “At that moment it seemed to me that this was a much more important task than the work of an accountant”). This reduces the risk of being involved in a painful self-disclosure process.

At heart, most psychologists believe that the motivation for studying psychology was the fascination and dedication of this area of ​​science, but, to everyone’s disappointment, they were driven by exorbitant vanity and an acute need for power and success. In public, they mourn those happy days when they needed only a pen, paper, a false mustache and a handful of gullible students to study psychology, while today science is promoted by money, computer technology and brain scanners the size of a small shed. But there is a real world, and a grant of $ 10 thousand for the study "The role of the frontal lobes in the ability to roam the Web."
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HOW TO PASS THIN THIN PSYCHOLOGIST

  1. Characteristics of developmental psychology, developmental psychology as a science
    Age psychology is a branch of psychological science that studies the facts and patterns of human development, the age dynamics of its psyche. The object of study of developmental psychology is a normal, healthy person developing and changing in ontogenesis. Development Psychology highlights age-related changes in people's behavior and seeks to explain these changes, to reveal patterns
  2. Age psychology as a component of the methodological foundations of military psychology
    Age psychology, being a branch of psychological science, studies the laws of mental development and the characteristics of personality formation at various stages of a person’s ontogenesis from birth to old age. Age psychology took shape in an independent field of knowledge at the end of the last century as a child psychology and for a long time was limited to studying the child’s mental development.
  3. Features of psychology as a science. Correlation of everyday and scientific psychology.
    There are two different areas of psychological knowledge - scientific and everyday, everyday psychology. If scientific psychology arose relatively recently, then everyday psychological knowledge has always been included in various types of human practice. The fundamental condition for the existence of man is a certain conscious representation of the world around him and his place in it. The study
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    Practical psychology as a field of professional activity
  5. How to become a psychologist
    In the first chapter, I told you how the creators of modern trends in psychology became psychologists. Those who have already chosen their path will go immediately to the psychological departments of universities. I will talk with you a little later. And now I will tell you how some people came to psychology of my friends and myself. This is for those who hesitate. The worst thing is doubt. Therefore, if
  6. How did the first of the famous become psychologists
    The history of psychology has always been difficult enough for psychology students to study. It is not easy to enter the circle of concepts and theories that are now considered to be already out of date and are of only historical interest. Modern psychology is usually closer and more understandable. What is the profession of a psychologist, what is the psychology of a psychologist? It becomes clearer when you study biographies, life path
  7. Psychology as a science
    If you try to highlight the main trends and directions in the history of the development of human society, then one of the most significant areas should be noted the desire of people to acquire and accumulate knowledge. The tendency to the acquisition and accumulation of knowledge is characteristic of both the individual person and humanity as a whole. In the process of evolution of human society
  8. Psychology as an applied and practical direction
    At present, practical psychology can be considered not only as a sphere of application of psychological knowledge, not only as a psychological practice and a way to test speculative psychological models, but also as a new, actively developing branch of psychological science that has its own subject? study and development. As such, in our opinion, the principles, methods and
  9. Professional activity of a psychologist. Psychologists as a professional community
    Professional activity of a psychologist. Psychologists as a professional
  10. From the history of the formation of psychology as a science
    The concept of "psychology", as sources most often indicate, first appears in 1590 in the writings of the German theologian Hocklenius; it was first introduced into the scientific language in the 30s of the 18th century by the German scientist Christian Wolf (1679-1754), the author of the books “Rational Psychology” and “Empirical Psychology”. This, of course, did not mean that thoughts about the soul, and even more so, ideas about it arose only with
  11. Psychology as a special pedagogical practice
    The main activities of a practical psychologist in education: psychological education, prevention, counseling, diagnosis, correction and development of the child). The need for psychological education is connected with the fact that there is a shortage of psychological knowledge in society, and participants in the educational process often lack a psychological culture. Practical psychologist
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