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Myth: Domestic violence is not a crime, but simply a scandal - a family matter that is not customary to interfere

Facts: According to the 1996 Interior Ministry report, 80% of all violent crimes are committed at home. Domestic violence is a criminal offense. In many countries, lawyers and lawyers specializing in the protection of women's rights believe that domestic violence is one of the first places among all types of crime. There is responsibility for certain types of crimes: injuries, beatings, torture, rape, etc. It is also important to understand that in addition to cases covered by the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, there are cases of domestic violence that cannot be determined by our current legislation, but, nevertheless, they are a crime against a person whose rights are defined by international covenants and conventions. Moral and psychological violence does not result in physical killing, not mutilated parts of the body, but killing a person’s personality, which in most cases leads to suicide in its various forms (for example, alcoholism), it doesn’t hurt hands and feet, but dignity, self-esteem. And no one can determine what percentage of fatal diseases is caused by just such situations, how many children living in such conditions, then become either rapists or victims, giving rise to a new generation of crimes.

Myth: Women also commit domestic violence as often as men

Facts: In order to create a situation of domestic violence, it is necessary to have a patron-dependent relationship. Dependence can be physical (illness, disability), emotional, economic. Now you can imagine who is more susceptible to such an addiction: women are discriminated against in society according to all these parameters, bound by cultural prescriptions, and besides, in our country they are not protected by the law, and, of course, many times more often in a domestic abuse situation. 95% of survivors of domestic violence are women.

Myth: a slap never hurts seriously

Facts: According to the head of the Department of Internal Affairs of Nizhny Novgorod, 73% of the murders committed there are related to domestic violence. Violence is characterized by cyclical and gradual intensification of acts of violence. It can simply begin with criticism, followed by humiliation, isolation, then a slap in the face, a blow, regular beatings, and sometimes death. The danger lies precisely in the fact that a woman may not give importance to the first slap in the face, which later may even lead to murder.

Myth: If the wife wanted, she could get away from the husband-offender

Facts: The most dangerous period for a woman comes after she decides to leave her abuser. The decision to leave her husband is preceded by a long struggle with doubts and fears that are well founded. Firstly, there are certain cultural traditions in our society. A woman without a husband and, moreover, having been left without a husband with children, the majority of our fellow citizens are considered as a defective creature. And, most importantly, she herself considers herself as such. Secondly, economic dependence forces her to put up with the situation of domestic violence, unless there is an obviously life-threatening situation. It is no secret that in the present conditions the opportunity to find work for a woman and, especially, for a woman with children is minimal. In most cases, one does not have to hope for alimony, moreover, the process of divorce itself requires, in some cases, unaffordable expenses for an unsecured woman. Thirdly, the overwhelming majority find themselves face to face with the housing problem, and, as is known, our housing legislation is beyond any criticism due to its stupidity. Fourthly, if the situation is serious enough, then an attempt to get out of control is associated with a direct danger to life, not to mention the various small and rather large things that rapists are capable of. Finally, in the fifth, in the cycle of domestic violence, there is a phase of “honeymoon”, when the rapist, who spilled out aggression and once again established itself in his “omnipotence”, can afford to experience a feeling of guilt and try to atone for it. And at this moment, showered with apologies and, perhaps, gifts, assured that this will never happen again, the woman hurries to believe that it is so desirable for her. Who can ruin a family, if the assurances are so hot, and yesterday's rapist is so sincere in his repentance?

Myth: Women exposed to domestic violence are masochistic, they like being beaten.

Facts: As a rule, women are afraid of violence, but for various reasons they do not break off relations with the abuser.

Myth: A woman does not leave an aggressive husband because children need a father.

Facts: without a doubt, ideally, children need a mother and a father.
However, children living in domestic violence may themselves ask their mother to run away from their father in order to escape from violence. If she does not do this, they often begin to hate both sides: father for cruelty, mother for weakness. After a while, the children harden themselves.

Myth: A man will stop violence as soon as we get married or live together.

Facts: if the violence occurred at the initial stage of dating, then almost always it will manifest itself later, regardless of the changes in life, stability of relations. Cases of violence are becoming more frequent and more regular as relationships become more stable. The beginning of living together, marriage, the birth of a child can strengthen the confidence of the spouse who is prone to violence, that the woman is his property, and once having resorted to violence, the man passes the psychological line associated with his use, then the verge of this transition becomes more inconspicuous and less noticeable.

Myth: Violence is a power struggle in a marital relationship.

Facts: Disagreements arise in all marital relationships, and there can always be quarrels and disputes over this. It is possible that people may have different opinions and ideas, but violence has nothing to do with disputes, violence is an abuse of power, in which one side dictates the behavior of the other.

Myth: domestic quarrels and assault are characteristic of poorly educated asocial people.

Facts: According to a variety of studies, violence occurs in all social strata, regardless of education level or income.

Myth: alcohol is the cause of violence.

Facts: Drinking alcohol reduces the ability to control behavior, but drinking alcohol alone cannot be an excuse for violence. The degree of influence of alcohol on the use of violence is greatly exaggerated, absolutely sober men also resort to violence. Experience shows that violence does not necessarily stop as the sobering.

Myth: at the present stage, domestic violence is a rarity.

Facts: Domestic violence is a very common phenomenon, it takes one of the first places among the various types of crime, and, according to domestic statistics, every third woman is exposed to domestic violence.

Myth: when a man does not have enough words, he speaks with his fists.

Facts: There is no evidence that men who use violence would be less able to express themselves verbally than others. This is only a myth based on another firm conviction that a woman will always defeat a man in a verbal duel, therefore a man is forced to resort to heavier arguments.

Myth: A woman herself provokes an explosion of violence.

Facts: This is the most common and most common misconception. According to him, a woman provokes a man, starting to scold him, cut him, comment, complain about something or demand something. Over time, women still discover that they are unable to avoid or stop the violence shown by a man, trying to guess his desire or obeying his requirements.

Myth: A man shows violence, as he had a difficult childhood.

Facts: Indeed, 40% of men who abused their wives, observed the same pattern of behavior at home in childhood. Parents act in the eyes of children as an object to follow, as ideals of a man and a woman. However, difficult experiences in childhood can not be the reason for which it would be possible to reduce the degree of responsibility or consider committing violence permissible. An adult is able to control his own life and be responsible for what he does. Many women experiencing violence from a spouse, over time, begin to experience a feeling of hostility towards their children, because the state of stress depletes the vital forces necessary for them, and there is simply no strength left for motherly love and care. Very often, the woman stops the fear of rupture, because the spouse who uses violence, in his own opinion, has nothing to lose if the woman leaves him, so he is ready for senseless desperate acts to prevent a rupture. Therefore, a woman is forced to live in fear for a long time, especially if a man has a good social and financial situation, then the consequences of the gap for women are very difficult. She can lose her social connections, financial security, and also lose the custody of her children.
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    Myth: Rape is committed suddenly, in bad areas, in dark alleys, by strangers Facts: According to statistics, a small percentage of child abuse is being done outside the home; 20% of rapists are parents, 20% are close relatives (brothers, sisters, stepmothers / stepfathers, uncles, aunts). 45% of rapists are people familiar to a child - friends at home, neighbors, tutors, helpers
  2. Domestic (family) violence
    Domestic violence is a complex type of violence. This is a recurring cycle of physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual, and economic humiliation, intimidation for the sake of maintaining control over the victim. Family violence - a phenomenon quite common throughout the world and in all segments of the population. Domestic violence is spoken of in cases where the facts of ill-treatment and mistreatment are not
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  4. Individual counseling for victims of family violence
    Emotional experiences of women affected by family violence, most often include grief, pain, anxiety, hostility, and shame. Mental pain as a reaction to violence is a process, not a separate event. H. Freud called this process of adaptation to unhappiness "the work of sorrow." Suffering becomes pathological when the "work of grief" is incomplete or unsuccessful. In the case of so
  5. Myths about stress, suicide, violence, loss of family (divorce)
    Myths about stress, suicide, violence, loss of family
  6. violence
    It is important that in recent years the topic of domestic violence, violence against loved ones was raised. Victims usually become vulnerable and dependent groups - children, old people, women. In Russia, about 2 million children under the age of 14 are beaten by their parents, about 50 thousand children run away from home during the year, fleeing from family distress. The subject of public discussion gradually become
  7. Group therapy with women victims of violence
    Group psychotherapeutic approaches to working with women victims of violence allow us to provide psychological assistance through group support and identification of personal resources. In the process of rehabilitation, it is recommended to rely on the following attitudes: 1. Violence in intimate and family relations is unacceptable in any form and under no circumstances. 2. Violence is social.
  8. Violence: psychology and therapy
    Until recently, gender-based violence (NGP) was considered as a purely personal, family affair. However, in recent years there has been a shift in the understanding of this subject, a lot of studies have been published, documenting the wide distribution of the PNC and its serious influence on the female psyche. Women's organizations have openly declared that the PNC is a social problem, and not at all
  9. Counseling and psychotherapy for victims of violence
    Psychological assistance to survivors of family violence has two main directions (Platonova, Platonov, 2004; Psychological assistance, 2000): 1) emergency psychological assistance for acute trauma of violence and post-traumatic stress; 2) long-term support in the process of individual counseling and group work. Emergency assistance to victims of violence is provided by
  10. Myths about psychoanalysis
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