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I was losing weight in vain


The readers of this book may have a quite natural question: "Here you are, Xenia Borodina, became a caring mother and exemplary wife, lost weight and began to look great. So why did not family life develop? It turns out that all your efforts were in vain? "I would like to give a detailed answer to this question.
Indeed, recently I divorced my husband. We really did not manage to save the family. But my work on myself was not in vain. My husband and I decided to leave, because they did not fit together. In a battered, seemingly explanation, suitable for all time and for all unhappy marriages - "did not agree with the characters" - in fact, there is true truth.
When a man achieves the attention of a woman, he tries to please her, spoil her. His main task is to have the woman next to him. Here he reached this goal. And instead of continuing to wear it in her arms, she reduces her self-esteem, suggesting that she does not need anyone at all except him. From yesterday's beautiful prince does not remain a trace.
And the princess is not the same. Over time, the woman succumbs to this influence, no, no, and thinks: "And really, where will I go? Who else will I find? It's bad here, but will it be better for me? ". And all right, if she sees in this way of life the pros, explaining the behavior of her husband with great love, and something even happy. But at the same time she ceases to take care of herself, to love herself.
And then she invariably understands that she has an unhappy marriage (for example, having found out that her husband is cheating on her) and is holding on to him because she is afraid to decide to divorce, she is afraid not to cope. In the end, afraid to remain alone until the end of life. But we must never forget that our life is not a rehearsal before a big performance: we are building our own destiny ourselves, right now, at this moment, in fact, and no one will give us a chance to re-do everything in a new way.
My now-ex-husband Yuri is an Armenian. I struggled to follow national traditions. But I could not get rid of the feeling that he was trying to suppress me in every possible way as a person. Intentionally or not, he instilled into me a huge number of complexes that prevented me from living. And that's what many men do, regardless of their nationality.
Yura suppressed me, but did not inspire me. He was looking for a dirty trick in everything, he did not believe in me. When I was invited to the show "Cruel Games", he said: "It seems that all these laurels are given to you because you slept with someone." No matter how strong I was, I also wanted support from my husband in important life situations. And I did not even have any friends with men - being married, I did not start them, so as not to anger my husband.
When I decided to divorce, then, of course, wondered if I could go through divorce and loneliness.

It seemed to me that if I now leave Yura, then immediately lose my job, I will not interest anyone, I will be unhappy.
But after all, I was already unhappy, depressed - this was evident to my friends and acquaintances. In their opinion, I was a poor girl, who everyone wanted to regret.
Many women are afraid to leave her husband for financial reasons - they are financially dependent. I, fortunately, had no such problem. But I was also afraid of the consequences. And then I remembered that I was a self-sufficient person. Before the marriage, I did not have a rich father, I did everything myself, I built my career without help.
Having divorced, I never regretted that I had made up my mind. When I began to live separately with Jura, I felt much better. Now I do not have scandals in the family, which in itself makes my life easier. I took this step, although it is difficult.

Man is the navigator of his destiny, and I am for happiness! I want to see a person next to me with whom I would be comfortable. I believe that I will find one.
After the divorce is not so easy to recover. I'm now trying to find happiness within myself, working on it. When I got divorced, I did not even have time to think about everything. At that time, I took on a lot of obligations: interviews, photo sessions, broadcasts on "Dancing with the Stars", rehearsals, projects. I have uploaded myself to work and the child to the maximum. It helped me survive the divorce. I think I was lucky.

To go to any vital step - from divorce and ending, to cardinally change yourself, lose weight and become a different person - we need confidence that everything will turn out.
Self-confidence for the most part is formed in childhood. That's how it was with me.
My parents divorced, and when my mother remarried, I was five years old.
She moved with her new husband, an architect by profession, to Italy. I do not blame her for leaving me in Moscow. She had to tear herself between her beloved and her daughter. She wanted to take me to Italy, but in Soviet times to take the child abroad, until he was eleven years old, it was unreal. It was difficult for her to leave either - for a visa she had to stand in kilometer queues, to undergo a bunch of bureaucratic procedures. And when the USSR collapsed and I could already move to my mother, it was hard for me to quit everything here. I studied at a Moscow school, was attached to Moscow and to my grandmother, who brought me up.
I did not have a brother or an older sister, and my grandmother and grandfather worked all the time, so I had to defend my rights independently before the teachers and teachers, at school and at the institute.
I remember one case. Since my mother lived in Italy, she brought me high-quality European clothes, beautiful pencil cases, pens and so on. My first doll was Barbie and Tamagotchi. And when in school they canceled the uniform and everyone started dressing the way they want or can, the contrast between my clothes and the clothes of other children from the "Children's World" was noticeable. This did not bother the children. But the teachers did not like it aggressively.
Once the teacher put me in front of the whole class and asked: "Children, look, she is best dressed, is not this a disrespect to you?" I was terribly upset! I did not show off dressing like that. When my mother left for another country, she wanted to compensate her absence with gifts. I was pleased to wear the clothes she sent, play the toys that she bought for me in Italy. These little things were dear to me, I wanted to have them around.
Understanding that "I can", I have from childhood. I'll tell the teacher, I'll get it, I'll divorce, if I'm unhappy, I'll lose weight. This self-awareness must be educated in yourself. It is important to be strong, bold, confident
I told the teacher everything I thought. She said it was mean to humiliate all the children, telling them how they were dressed. And that although she is a teacher and she has a small salary, she should not be so envious. I started talking, and it was impossible to stop me.
I said that you need to teach good, to love your work and the people with whom you are next.
After that, I was not taken to the tenth grade, motivating the decision by the fact that I allegedly behaved badly. I behaved quite well, my classmates were good to me, I participated in school sketches, was artistic, I was not bad at school. The true reason for refusing to teach me further was a rebuke, which I gave to the teacher.
Mom gave me to a private school-lyceum named after Pushkin. There they studied children whose parents had other material possibilities. There I was not so distinguished with my clothes. And there were ten lessons, parties, discos, a theater circle. I successfully studied for three years and entered immediately to the second year of the institute.
Of course, every woman is pleased to seem weak, trust the man, relax. However, I myself solve my problems - financial and others. When I start a relationship with a man, I really do not let him take care of myself - I immediately feel obligated. It seems to me that I put him in an awkward position, and that he will not cope. Many men, including my ex-husband, say that I am a "man". It offends me, of course. I want to overcome my fear and be able to trust a man.
But I know for sure that you need to be strong, and with a man pretend that I'm weak. It is important for weak women to first become strong, and then learn this game. If you immediately show your weakness, it will be easy for a man to tamper with a woman and make sure that she does not have any rights in her family.
Divorce, like losing weight, is not a panacea for all ills. Relationships are a difficult thing, you have to work on them, but only when there is love. And we sometimes confuse it with ordinary affection, sympathy, sexual attraction, after all. So if you are unhappy in a marriage, then you need to leave. It does not matter how old you are - 20 or 45.

Remember: life is one, and you need to live it happily, not patiently.
Otherwise, one day, when you are 70, you will look back and you will understand with bitterness: everything could be different. But you will not have the advantages that are right now - youth and the opportunity to change everything.
Youth, as one wise man once said, is a shortcoming that quickly passes.
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I was losing weight in vain

  1. Conclusion
    Matvey Yakovlevich Mudrov, along with outstanding scientists of that time, was a pioneer and laid civilized, scientifically substantiated and theoretically foundations of medical practice. His role in the development of Russian medicine is very great, for good reason he stands alongside such famous scientists as the Opel and Pirogov. Mudrov was unable to complete the work that he started with his envious and incurable
  2. The seventh day. Time to rest
    Succeeds everywhere who does not hurry anywhere. M. Bulgakov. "The Heart of a Dog" Finding harmony is an activity for serious adults. And yet, even in the most serious business, a respite is needed. Your own body will take care of this. It was formed over thousands of years and in something much wiser than you, you just need to listen to your bodily processes. And processes during
  3. Xenia
    Questionnaire 1. Country: Russia, Moscow. 2. Age, occupation: 31, engineer. 3. Earlier attempts were made to reduce weight: repeatedly - at least 5 times for "adult" life. The minimum weight - 53 kg (height 168, other parameters were at the minimum weight - 88-60-92). Lose weight several times - because of illness (hepatitis), diet, fasting, training apparatus, yoga in different combinations. After for different reasons
  4. Food additives and ready-made diets
    I told about diets and food systems, the history of which is several decades old. However, science (and dietetics is very important, in my opinion, science) is moving forward, and we are eager to take advantage of its achievements as quickly as possible. Over the past few decades, the world is constantly presented with another "magic" drug that allows you to lose weight without any effort. At the beginning of the book
  5. Heart Disease
    General reasoning The heart, as such, is exposed to all kinds of diseases, for example, [to all kinds of] varieties of the disorder of nature. [Disorders of nature] sometimes happen in the presence of matter, and sometimes - pure; matter, especially moisture, is in the vessels [of the heart], and sometimes, - between his body and bag. In this place there is often a liquid, but it is known that when there is a lot of it, it presses on
  6. Ideal and forcible weight loss.
    Comfortable weight loss is due to the property of our body to spend fat naturally in order to achieve the goals for which it was accumulated. Recall that fat, it is a reserve of energy, once we accumulated for the purpose of implementing some of our life plans and postponed until the time, before the time. There are a number of situations where weight is very likely to decrease, it would seem, without any
  7. DAY SIX - I SEE IT
    Previously, everything was simple with us - we lost weight, we recovered ourselves, as if we were engaged in pulling the rope ourselves, and everything seemed to be calm, the whole life - a quiet struggle against excess weight ... And now we opened our own depths - and we were not ready to meet with a face to face - their own manifestations cause anxiety and anxiety. But it's good - we can change ourselves if
  8. Termination of respiratory support
    Respiratory support is necessary for the patient only as long as his independent breathing is not enough or accompanied by too much energy. Unjustified prolongation of artificial respiration can do nothing but harm. However, it is not always easy to solve the question of the timeliness of the cessation of mechanical ventilation, especially prolonged ventilation. Perhaps, the second most frequent error in conducting ventilation in
  9. Rule number 3. Strive to go up
    Describing techniques that allow you to visually reduce body volumes, I have repeatedly cited examples of how a vertical strip or long beads help to look slimmer. And after all, V-shaped notches, and heels, are also visually drawn. If you are used to walking on a flat sole, you should start with classic models of shoes on a modest five-centimeter heel. Even he will help visually stretch his legs and
  10. Possible measures to eliminate hazing
    At present, the chain of cause-and-effect relationships that ensure the stability of hazing is simple and looks like this: The first stabilizing factor of hazing - the connivance of top management - is virtually unavoidable under the existing political regime in Russia. Therefore, all measures to combat hazing are worth discussing only on the assumption that it has come to power
  11. Food choice
    Estimating the nutritional value of nutrition, we are not talking about this or that quantity of essential amino acids, fats, carbohydrates, and not least of all we care about replenishment of the body's needs in the natural composition of mineral salts. At the same time, we believe that vegetables are the main suppliers of not only these salts, but also vitamins. Regular consumption of vegetables and especially freshly prepared vegetables
  12. Invasion of cancer cells: molecular causes and ways of preventing
    In history, the first method of treating cancer was surgical excision, although in the first century. AD Were attempted to treat cancer with drugs (WR Belt, 1957). Even then, surgeons faced difficulties in excising cancer: very often there was a "return" in the area of ​​excision, i.e. recurrence of cancer, and extremely rarely - "local" cure. This caused the surgeons to develop the principles of operations in cancer. Ibn
  13. CAUTION! MICROCLISM WITH POISON CAN BE DANGEROUS!
    One of the recommendations of "VN" is to take a wrestler in microclysters 30-50 ml, and drink 1 to 5 drops 2-3 times a day in hot tea. We have already said above that dripping a tincture of a wrestler into hot tea means significantly weakening its effect on the tumor. But to use the tincture of a fighter in microclysters is a serious matter! V. V. Tishchenko set the tone in the use of microclysters with poisonous tincture in cancer
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