Licensed books on medicine
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At that time, while I was trying to understand what had happened to me and how I would return to my former form, journalists called me a bbw. I almost sobbed over every such article. If it were not for my friends, I would not have experienced two years of terrible agony for anything.
My close friends Nastya and Karina have become my relatives for a long time. We are even called the Three-Headed Dragon! This group name was invented at work, and she went to the people, because it very accurately reflects the essence of our friendship. Both colleagues, and friends, and readers of our blogs say that we are really like the fabulous Serpent Gorynych: it’s like three personalities, and it’s like a single whole.
We have known Nastya for a long time, since the time when I was just starting my career and tried to get to the screen by hook or by crook. My bosom friend worked as an editor at a television holding, and then began working at the Doma-2 team. Then we became friends.
At first, we talked about work issues, stayed after the shooting, discussed what and how to file on the air, and improved my image. Then we ran into cafes and clubs a couple of times and realized that it does not make sense to go to these places separately, we must hang out together. It turned out that we have a lot in common: a cheerful character, perseverance in achieving goals and, of course, dreams of family and kids. We were constantly together: we talked on the set, we spent time in the evenings, and it was worth going home, we started writing text messages to each other. They simply couldn’t get out of each other, every minute there was a desire to call, talk about some kind of adventure and ask for advice.
After some time, we agreed to rent an apartment together. I must say that it was a wise decision - now friendly support has become much more tangible. Nastin's optimism rescued me more than once in moments when it seemed that the whole world had turned against the fat woman Borodina.
One evening I was browsing the news on the Internet and for some reason I went to the forum, whose visitors were actively discussing Dom-2. Nastya returned home and found a sad picture: I am sitting at a laptop and roaring in three streams.
- Ksyush, why did the dampness in our apartment get divorced? So after all the mold on the wallpaper can crawl.
- I, I ... can not anymore! Nastya! So much of everything ...
It was difficult for me even to collect my thoughts, and I just opened the laptop so that my friend could see everything with her own eyes. Anastasia, with her inherent efficiency, estimated the scale of the disaster and began to restore order. In my head - first of all.
- You, my dear, after each pair of photos not in the most successful angles will suffer so much? You must understand that a public person is forced to put up with everything that matters to him. Ksyuha, get used to it.
All the stars of the paparazzi are photographed in shorts in a terrible pose, and then they write: "See how her belly sticks out." You will have to live with it always, so you have to learn to accept the reality in which you are criticized, and not always reasonably!
- Nastya, you're right, as always, but I'm trying so hard. I just don’t understand where people get so much malice, aggression, desire to hurt ...
- Well, from where? Just put yourself in their place.
- Yes, I can not! It is even hard for me to imagine that you can write and talk about an absolutely stranger like this for the eyes of mucks!
What have I done to them all ?!
- Yes, in essence, nothing, just you are a young and successful girl who fulfilled her dream and got on the coolest channel in the world. These writers simply envy you or they have nothing to do. Imagine people who interfere with the life of the stars with such passion, sitting at their monitors - ugly, humpbacked and bow-legged, but they consider it their duty to write what Borodina added a kilogram. They, probably, from it become easier.
- I understand it all with my mind, Nastya, just so wildly ... I wanted to lead all my life, I wanted to entertain people, make them happy! And now, when I got what I wanted, they find fault with me on every occasion. When you are a simple person, only those closest can assess, and outsiders do not interfere with what you look like, who you meet and what you do tonight.
- Yes, do not worry you! All public people go through this. With you are always your friends and your fortitude. You are with us, of course, obstinate and proud (I have loved you for this as my own), well, be proud of yourself, because you are a good fellow, you have achieved everything yourself. With such a character like yours, girlfriend, it is simply impossible to unstick! Let's read less nonsense on the forums and remember that you have not only more problems than an ordinary person, but also pleasant moments. Well, which of the girls your age can boast with so many fans? After all, everyone loves you - from sweet Oscar Karimov to serious uncles in expensive jackets. Who gets as many compliments as you get?
You are very beautiful, and there are many people around who sincerely admire you.
- Yeah, and still in the clubs they shove on purpose, as soon as they realize that they are facing “that same Borodina” from the TV.
“And we will push them away and go on.” People are all different, very different, and you will see inadequate reaction more than once or twice, especially from girls. Just remember that I am with you. You already have become like my younger sister, I will protect you.
- Yes, what I am the youngest, you are a couple of months older than me!
- So do not argue with seniors!
Nastya and I burst out laughing, and I don’t remember either unsuccessful photos or malicious comments from members of the forum.
Karinka joined our company a little later. We met her through friends and very quickly found a common language. Nastya, I buzzed my ears, what Karina is cool, how she looks like us. One evening, we spontaneously got into the cinema, I dialed a phone number and said: "We are sitting with Karinka in October, come." As a result, we didn’t even see anything - we just sat in a cafe and talked all the time while the movie was going. At that moment, it became clear that the three of us would be friends, probably for the rest of our lives.
Karinka fell in love with Nastya, she seemed to be always with us, and I am extremely happy about it. We often joke that three of us are working on the project “Dom-2”. Karina is aware of all the events, she watches the program, happens on the set and has her own opinion about each participant. She often comes to us from Nastya to work, after filming we go to my house, pour a cup of tea and discuss everything that happened during the day.
At the very beginning of our acquaintance, we went to the clubs with the girls, watched every movie premiere and walked together. We were brought together and youth, and common interests, and active life position, and common dreams. Romantic comedies inspired us to talk about how you want the same beautiful all-consuming love: put on a white dress and bring an oath of allegiance to the groom ... We enjoyed what we had and dreamed of more.
But the most important thing in our friendship is that she grew up with us. And now, when we devote much more time and attention to families, we always have something to share with our friends. Both girls are very responsive, and not only to me: how can you not support a good person?
We have faced different situations in life, and every time one began to fall, the other two supported it. Together we are much stronger than people who live somehow apart and rely only on themselves.
It was thanks to my close people that I was able to step over insecurity in myself and my own strength, I found a way to put my thoughts in order. Most recently, Nastya and I recalled how I was hurt by critical comments about appearance, and she gave out a completely unexpected thing. She said that she put herself in my place and understood that she would hardly have managed. But in order not to frighten me then, she silently kept silent - like a real girlfriend or like an older sister.
For the next two years after taking the pills, the situation with my weight did not change dramatically. In normal mode, I continued to look for my own way, experimented with various diets, combined them with physical activity.
I almost resigned myself to the fact that forever remain fat. Negative feedback and caustic comments in the press about my figure stopped hurting me. The producers of the channel, though sometimes reminded me of one delicate condition of the contract, but still went forward: I could not solve the problem of extra kilos. I learned to mask my lack with all the methods available to me - with the help of new hairstyles, make-up, clothes. I will share these secrets in one of the following chapters.
Otherwise, I tried to live as before: to work hard, read books, meet friends. And so, unexpectedly for me, after one unpleasant incident, my weight returned to normal.
Once, my friends and I rested in a nightclub. I danced, had fun. And suddenly I felt bad - my stomach became very sick, I began to lose consciousness. My friends were scared and took me to the Botkin hospital. After the initial examination, the doctors suggested that it could be appendicitis. But then it turned out that my ovaries were stuck. I had to do an operation.
I stayed in the hospital for two weeks and all this time I was extremely nervous - I experienced real stress.
For a couple of days in the hospital, I plunged into a state that I still don’t want to remember.
I felt completely helpless, it was always bad and painful. But the worst was not even physical suffering, but mental.
I did not want to read or watch TV, nor — even more so — to study an even hospital ceiling. The only thing that occupied my mind was samoedism.
Days and nights away, I scolded myself for bringing my body to moral and physical exhaustion. The experiment with the pills and its effects did not give me rest.
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